Menopause and sexuality
Tired of the pleasure?
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Yes, menopause and sexuality are related. Some women lose their libido in midlife. Sex doesn’t seem as important or fun anymore. There can be several reasons for this and there are therefore various ways to free yourself from it. You can find out all the details here.
It’s supposed to be the most beautiful thing in the world: having sex. Make love. Enjoy pleasure. Why should that be in the Menopause be different? A valid question. However, sex actually often becomes secondary in midlife. Or doesn’t happen at all anymore. It’s a shame, actually. So where does the listlessness come from?
How are menopause and sexuality related to each other?
Menopause is characterized by: Production of sex hormones decreases. However, this doesn’t happen in a nice orderly and linear manner, but rather it means quite a lot Hormonal chaos. In principle, the process goes like this: A while before menopause, the last menstrual period, the progesterone level slowly declines. After the last menstruation, the estrogen level drops suddenly (reading tip: our menopause article explains the processes in more detail). Because when the cycle no longer takes place and there are no more eggs in the ovaries that can mature and be released into the fallopian tubes, estrogen and gestagen, the female sex hormones, are hardly produced anymore.
How does this relate to sexuality and libido? The question has not yet been particularly well researched. What is certain, however, is that our feeling of pleasure is not just neural (i.e. originating from the nervous system), but also hormonally controlled is. To stimulate excitement, the activity of the autonomic nervous system and the release of hormones increase. An example: Blood flow to the intimate area increases and glands in the vagina secrete their secretion, which acts like the body’s own lubricant. But hormones that are no longer there cannot be released and ensure good lubrication. In this case, hormone fluctuations, which are typical during menopause, have an indirect effect on your sexual life.
To make matters worse, a whole range of menopausal symptoms can occur during the climacteric period. Although only one in three women is severely or very severely affected by it, it is true Even comparatively mild symptoms can slow down desire in this phase.
What are the possible reasons for the loss of libido?
The already mentioned menopausal symptoms that occur in this phase of life can be roughly divided into: physical or mental symptoms, it is not uncommon for them to mix. Both types can affect your love life.
- fatigue – Honey, I’m tired! And that’s not an excuse. The exhaustion and lack of energy that comes over some women during menopause can stifle feelings of pleasure.
- vaginal dryness – The skin everywhere on the body becomes thinner, drier and more sensitive due to the hormonal changes and, above all, the lack of estrogen. As already mentioned, the vaginal secretion is missing in the intimate area. Even when you are emotionally aroused, the vagina remains dry and penetration becomes very painful.
- Joint pain – When skin and mucous membranes become thinner and drier, this also affects the connective tissue in the joints. Although movement pain is often age-related, the hormonal situation after menopause can also contribute.
- Mood swings, irritability – The chaos in hormone levels during menopause can be similar to the emotional rollercoaster of puberty. The mood quickly drops, depressive moods can spread and become a pleasure killer.
- stress – Menopause often occurs during a phase of life in which major upheavals occur in one’s private life. Maybe the children move out or their own parents become in need of care. Feelings like sadness, loss, and worry sometimes leave no room for desire for sex.
- relationship problems – Who says that everything is always due to hormonal changes? Maybe love has been lost over the years and given way to boredom. Or maybe you’ve been single for a while and just don’t have the energy or desire to date or get involved with someone new.
- Side effects of medications or chronic illnesses – Certain medicines (such as antidepressants, painkillers) can suppress sex drive. Read the package leaflet and talk to your doctor if you do not want to accept this side effect. Alternative preparations may be available or the dosage can be adjusted.
BRIGITTE dossier “Menopause”
This is how you get through the menopause calmly
Do you keep waking up at night? Are you short of breath lately? Are you eating as usual but suddenly gaining weight? Would you like to know what helps against hot flashes?
Then we have exactly the right thing for you. In our dossier we answer the 15 most important questions about menopause.
You can easily read our digital PDF at home on your laptop or on your smartphone and start it straight away.
The psychological component of certain physical menopausal symptoms should not be underestimated either. Do you no longer feel comfortable in your body? you may feel unsexy, it is difficult to give in to desire. Even if you secretly think it’s wrong and wish it were different.
- Weight problems – Because metabolism changes along with hormone levels, women who eat no differently than before often gain a few kilos (also read our article about weight gain during menopause). The figure changes, a tummy grows. Even if the mind tells us that it is not our appearance that makes us lovable and we know that we should accept our body as it is, feelings are difficult to override with the mind. It may take some time to accept the new, rounded silhouette, the unfamiliar pads and to be happy to show yourself to your partner (again).
- Hair loss/growth in unwanted areas – This also sounds totally superficial, but thinning hair on the head and more body hair, for example on the legs or the sprouting of a lady’s beard, can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. In other words, it’s better to pull the covers over your head instead of enjoying physical love between the sheets. Because there is never just one cause to which the displeasure can be traced back. Without a doubt, several aspects always come together.
What brings back the desire for sex during menopause?
Local hormone therapy, which raises the estrogen level, can help against hormonal problems, especially vaginal dryness. Vaginal creams or suppositories supply the region with estrogen and in this way solve the problem: the vagina can become moist again (lubrication) and sex no longer hurts. Because the hormones are absorbed through the skin and bypass the digestive tract, the risk potential of hormone administration is significantly reduced. Talk to your gynecologist about treatment options for estrogen deficiency. Our article explains more about the pros and cons of hormone replacement therapy.
If the reasons are more psychological, the desire often returns on its own, when your well-being improves. Targeted stress reduction through relaxation techniques such as autogenic training, Qi Gong or meditation, a change in diet or even psychotherapy can be very helpful here. But be patient! Unfortunately, there is no switch that you can easily flip. Also talk to your partner about what you like and what you don’t like. Maybe things are different now than they used to be.
Is there also the opposite case, that libido increases during menopause?
There is. Some women feel it downright liberatingwhen the topic of contraception is finally off the table. Or when the children fledge and they can take more care of themselves and an intimate, loving togetherness again. Maybe a new love will come into life. Butterflies in the stomach usually bring out the libido again very quickly.
How long do you still have to use contraception?
When the egg supply is irretrievably used up and the last period has taken place can only be determined retrospectively. If a woman is 50 or older, it is assumed that after 12 months without a period Menopause has occurred and she can no longer become pregnant. For women under 50, expert advice is to continue using contraceptives for two years after the last menstrual period. Although pregnancy at this age is relatively unlikely, it is not impossible.
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