Regardless of whether there was an argument in the office, the man is in a bad mood or the children have bad grades: women tend to feel responsible for everyone and feel guilty for everything. Stop it, our author demands. Because that's a waste of time.
According to surveys, almost 52 percent of German women would like chocolate without sugar and almost 35 percent each would like chips without fat and endurance without training. Why? Because they feel bad all the time. Because they do things and then regret them afterwards. Because they feel guilty far too often.
Constantly looking to blame yourself is counterproductive
I know that. It doesn't matter whether my girlfriend is annoyed, my husband is stressed or the children sleep poorly. I tend to first see if the whole thing has anything to do with me. Maybe I said the wrong thing? Took too much on the man? Overtaxed the children? If a friend told me about it, I would tell her that she was crazy. In fact, this constant guilt-in-yourself search is absolutely counterproductive. A little reflection can never hurt – self-tearing and over-analyzing, on the other hand, are of no use. They just knock you down and cost you nerves and time.
Far too often I have the feeling that I don't exercise enough, eat too much, and spend far too much money. Or should I say "had"? I'm trying to stop this nonsense right now. First measure: I no longer apologize for all crap. That just leads to misunderstandings and gives me and everyone else the impression that I actually did something bad. If I've just forgotten to put my coffee mug away in the office, it really makes more sense to put it away later or never at all than to complain about guiltily as if I had just run over the boss's cat (although in this case it might be smarter to shut your mouth hold!).
Do I have to go to jail if I say something stupid?
Also, I just try not to get annoyed about spilled milk anymore. What happens again if I eat too many peanut flips? Or if I actually said something stupid? Will I drop dead on the spot? Do i have to go to jail? No. I just ate a few more peanut fries and maybe said something stupid. It happens to everyone. Maybe that's why I'll weigh 400 grams more tomorrow. Maybe someone is mad at me. Or maybe not. I am most definitely not responsible for everyone else's feelings. And if someone feels trodden on, just let them know. If someone thinks I'm too fat, please don't! In any case, it is a total waste of time to think for more than a second about things that cannot be changed anyway.
Of course I would also like to have a really bad drinking party without a hangover, ideally I would age without any wrinkles and would also like to have a body like Heidi Klum without even getting up from the couch. And of course I will never quite manage not to feel bad, guilty, responsible. But I am now practicing loosening up, not always having a guilty conscience about everything, just feeling responsible for thingsfor which I am actually responsible. And at least to be happy that I am experiencing things that I can regret later. Until I have managed it one hundred percent, I hear Edith Pias "Je ne regrette rien", allow my children to watch television in broad daylight, eat a lot of chocolate with sugar and chips with fat – after that I definitely do not do any sports.