You have not wanted to have sex for a while now and are you starting to worry? Or does your partner no longer seem to crave you like you used to? Either way, we clarify possible causes and countermeasures.
Feelings of happiness, self-confidence, strengthening of partnership and relationship – the positive effects of an active, balanced sex life we know all by now (ideally from our own experience!). All the more worried or worried some people are when they suddenly have no desire for sex over a longer period … or at least less. But is that really always a cause for concern?
In short: No, it is not! There are very different causes for a loss or decline in libido, and depending on what is behind it, periods of sexual discomfort are quite normal (for both men and women!). So if you or your sweetheart are affected: breathe deeply, stay cool and first go to root cause research – pressure and panic have so far brought no one back the desire for sex (except maybe people with a very special fetish …)
No desire for sex: no purely female phenomenon
That only women have problems with the libido is primarily a prejudice. Although women are more affected than men by most studies, they are more often affected. So if z. For example, if your partner does not feel like having sex, that does not automatically mean that he is having fun with another.
However, statistically, it is difficult to grasp exactly how widespread sexual aversion really is. Some studies report that 30 percent of women and about 15 percent of men are affected, while others claim that more than 50 percent of couples experience a libido decline after just five years. The miself study , according to which would help especially female patients, their increase their sexual pleasure, feels on average every tenth woman in Germany by their low sexual desire charged .
No desire for sex: The 6 most common causes
Something clearer than the dissemination of sexual aversion, after all, are their most common causes – because in which most experts agree. Here are six typical triggers of libido loss.
1. Stress
Who has to check between jobs, e-mails, bring children to bed and Christmas presents already buzzing on sex and a sense of romance? Who feels after a hard day’s work already desirable and erotic? Just! Stress is the pleasure killer par excellence – and that can (unfortunately) most people understand …
2. Changes
The birth of a child, a new job, the first joint apartment – with serious changes in our lives, certain habits and everyday life can quickly take a back seat and suddenly come up short, even sex. It does not always go without saying that the pleasure will come back on its own as soon as the change is no longer new.
3. Relationship problems
If there is something between us in the partnership, it can of course lead to problems and listlessness in bed. In the case helps best: Talk!
4. Routine
Always the same program? How boring! You would not continue watching a series if the same thing happens in every episode, right? Why are there so many different sexual positions and variants during intercourse …?!
5. Hormones
Pill, menstrual cycle, menopause – hormonal imbalance or hormonal changes can also mess up our sex life in addition to our emotional state. If the libido loss occurs neither cyclically nor temporarily, the hormone status should be medically examined.
6. Diseases
From hypothyroidism to obesity and depression – there are many diseases that can cause sexual listlessness. Therefore, in case of sexual aversion basically: take it seriously and openly and honestly talk to a doctor about it who does the same.
No desire for sex: 5 tips on how to stimulate your libido
Basically, if you do not feel like having sex, but no problem, you do not have to do anything! We do not have to be sexually active and busy at every stage of our lives. Sometimes other things are more important that can make us (at least) as happy as regular sexual intercourse. However, if you or your partner have no desire for sex for a very long time and you or your relationship suffers from it, you can and should of course do something. Ideally you will then seek out an expert (sex therapist, doctor, couple counselor …), with whom you work specifically and individually on your topics. Alternatively or in advance, however, you can try it first with these five measures …
1. Relax!
As I said: In sexual listlessness pressure (the least) helps the least! So just let your sweetheart and you have a nice bubble bath on Sunday evening, light some candles and see what happens. Without compulsion and ulterior motives. (Best you should have talked about the problems before, otherwise he might expect a fireworks display and build up unwanted pressure again …)
2. The appetite comes when eating …
Yes, that is ambiguous and both mean: sometimes the desire for sex comes along, sometimes you can help her out with the right food. For example, oysters should stimulate the libido, and broccoli, spinach, figs and pomegranate may be more pleasurable. So just … uh … or cook!
3. Movement
Sport stimulates the release of endorphins and sometimes it is just this spark of happiness that libido lacks. Especially helpful are sports such as tantra yoga , zumba or dancing, but most importantly, you are doing something that you enjoy.
4. Let yourself be inspired …
Why is there porn for women ? Or erotic stories ? Yes exactly …
5. Self is the woman
In most people, libido can actually be exercised, much like a muscle or the brain. That is, if you are having trouble with your partner for whatever reason, you can counteract the libido loss by satisfying yourself. Once a week, half an hour Me-Time – it’s definitely worth a try!