parenting mistakes
3 Warning Signs You May Be “Hostile” Parents
Parenting mistakes: “Hostile” parents shape their children at worst for life
We all want the best for our children – and yet “hostile” parents are harming them without realizing it. Here you can see what clear warning signs can be.
Parents may sometimes be annoyed by their children, occasionally argue with them or, depending on the situation, sometimes despair – but at most the evil stepparents from the fairy tale book are intentionally “hostile”. Nevertheless, there are parents who are very controlling or aggressive towards their children in certain situations and do not even realize that their behavior can be perceived by the child as open hostility.
Parenting mistakes: “hostile” parents do it differently
Melissa Huey, a psychology professor at the New York Institute of Technology, describes very subtle behavior as a clear sign of “hostile” parents. With such a harsh word, many of us probably first think of overt forms of corporal punishment, unpredictable punishments, or locking up children for long periods of time when they “misbehave.” Clearly, these behaviors are undoubtedly problematic and can have long-term negative effects on children. However, “hostile parenting” goes beyond these obvious forms and includes more subtle aspects, particularly in the psychological realm. For Huey, it is primarily hostile thoughts, words, and actions that can affect a child’s emotional security and well-being.
pressure and manipulation
For example, when parents constantly criticize their children for every little thing, emphasizing their flaws and ignoring their strengths, it can quickly create a hostile environment. Another sign of “hostile” parenting is the use of guilt or shame as a parenting tool, which often causes children to develop a negative self-image and feel unloved. Perhaps the clearest sign of hostile parenting is the total absence of emotional support. When parents are unable to recognize and respond to their children’s feelings and needs, they are taught that their emotions are not important or not accepted.
“Hostile” without intent
Is this done with malicious intent? In most cases not: It is important to understand that hostile parenting is not always conscious. Parents often act this way without consciously registering it because of their own insecurities, stress or traumatic experiences in the past. It is all the more important for those affected to become aware of these hostile behaviors and to work on overcoming them. In the video you can see three clear signs that a “hostile” parenting style prevails.