psychology
4 ways to avoid drama in your life without running away
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Who likes drama? You can read here how you can keep it at a distance without having to flee from it.
Arcs of tension cannot be avoided in life. Sometimes something changes and we have to adapt, sometimes nothing changes for too long and we have to initiate something and sometimes we have unbelievable bad luck and have to find a way not to take it personally. Most people go through dramatic episodes in their personal history that feel uncomfortable and where it is difficult to relax and be grateful. But these episodes don’t have to be permanent.
Some people need drama and (unconsciously) create it themselves because it makes them feel alive and important. Usually this is a sign of a disturbed self-image and not healthy and anyone who suspects that they are looking for drama has probably to find out why this could be the case (preferably in a conversation with a therapist). If, on the other hand, you want as little drama as possible in your own life, you can try the following measures, which the New York author and psychiatrist Abigail Brenner on the US online portal Psychology Today recommends, above all, to distance yourself from foreign drama.
4 ways to reduce drama in your life
1. Check your relationships
If you look at your friendships and other relationships: Are there people who continually Bring drama into your life? Where everything always feels difficult and complicated and you always have to think about what to say because otherwise it can quickly lead to an argument? Then one measure to reduce drama in your life would be to give those people less time and instead stick with those who have a positive outlook and who are calm and relaxed about things. Those who feel easy to be around and who don’t demand your constant attention.
Sure: We all go through difficult phases in our life and are involved in drama and if a friend is in such an episode, that is not a reason to distance yourself from her, but rather to be there for her . But there is an essential difference between a dramatic chapter and an A to Z dramatic story. And it is important to recognize that.
2. Think about how you react to others
Are you easily infected by others when they get upset? Do you quickly take on a strange attitude or opinion when someone is blackmailing and dramatizing things? It is generally good and brings calm to our inner play if we try to first listen to people, observe them and form an image before we plunge into their emotional turmoil. We do not have to empathize with everything or feel and evaluate everything at the same time in order to be empathetic. If a situation becomes too upsetting and engaging, it is also okay to physically distance yourself from it and explain it afterwards, as soon as the mind has calmed down again. Anyone who doesn’t understand this or gets angry that you don’t want to get upset with the person is probably not a person who should take up a lot of space in your life.
3. Focus on your life
Dramatic things are happening on our earth. Terrorist groups occupy countries, viruses are rampant, islands and regions are flooded, animal species are disappearing, women are beaten by their husbands and and and. We could easily sit in the corner and cry 24/7 if we wanted to take on the entire drama of our world. But what would that make it better? Of course, walking around with blinkers and not caring about what’s going on around us is not a satisfactory solution. Nevertheless, it is our personal task to focus on ourselves, because we have the greatest influence on ourselves and our lives. By taking care of ourselves first, we can avoid creating additional drama and are tidy and free enough to do our part on a small scale to make the drama around us maybe a tiny little less.
4. Limits, priorities, clarity
If there is a lot of confusion and chaos in interpersonal relationships, i.e. in our relationships, this is usually a permanent subscription to Drama. Expectations that are not met, one-sidedness that leads to injury, pressure that we have no idea where it is actually coming from. Of course we don’t have to tell everyone: r friend: in concrete terms, you are my number four, in front of you are Otto, Hugo and Berta, or draw up a contract that stipulates what we can and cannot expect from each other. But in order to lead a life that is as harmonious and drama-free as possible, it makes sense to be clear about our limits and to know who is one of our closest circle and who is more likely to be an extended one.
Source used: psychologytoday.com