psychology
Yoga and journaling? Nope.
6 things that make calm people really different
© Olena Yakobchuk / Shutterstock
Why do some people always remain calm? And that’s so natural too? We set out to find the serenity formula far away from yoga and the like.
Do you know those people who always seem to be at peace with themselves? The bakery is sold out, the coffee drops, the bus is late. And while we’re already seething inside, they sit relaxed on a bench and wait for the next one. With slight admiration, you might catch yourself squinting over at the person – perhaps to catch a sign of stress. Was that an eye roll? Are these worry lines? No, she even laughs! How does she do that?
We experience similar situations at work, but also in our private and family lives. Some people take life as it comes, go with the flow and surf the waves as if they’ve never done anything else. While we are already being swept away by the next current before we can even take a breath.
Relaxed people are often perceived as exotic, magically attractive animals by people who tend to be more stressed. Calmness can definitely be learned. And no: we’re not talking about another yoga routine before work and meditation during your lunch break. Mindfulness exercises certainly have their place and don’t get us wrong – we’re big yoga fans – but we’re looking for the true habits that the more calm among us follow so naturally and that we’d like to learn a lesson from. And we think we’ve found a few. Curtain up …
6 habits of calm people
1. You ignore messages
Our time has been increasingly controlled by others, at least since we had smartphones. As soon as the cell phone blinks or rings, our hand reaches for it almost automatically. Icons show whether our messages have been read, who is currently online. All of this creates immense pressure to be available anytime, anywhere and immediately. But we don’t have to. If we learn not to react to news in an instant, we will lift a tremendous burden from our own shoulders.
2. You set a deadline for yourself
Do you know when you agree to all the meetings and suddenly every day of the next week is already planned? There is a simple exercise: set a limit of appointments per week. Once this is achieved and someone asks if you have time, the answer is no – because we also need space to recharge.
3. You practice waiting and breathing
This is probably one of the most difficult exercises in composure, but one that gets us the furthest: enduring uncertainty. There is a saying that if you drive yourself crazy before doing something, you will experience the stress twice – on the date in question and since then. It’s better to wait and deal with things when they actually happen. Don’t forget to take a deep breath, as we often lose it in everyday life.
4. You know that control is a misconception
How nice would it be to have everything under control? And how incredibly boring! Life simply cannot be controlled – if we accept that we cannot control everything, we also take on some responsibility. Giving up control can feel pretty good.
5. You keep a to-don’t list
To-do lists are nice, but the ones we cross off are nicer. Calm people know their limits and know that they can’t and don’t have to do everything – and that doesn’t make them worse. Just don’t do things that aren’t important and learn that the world won’t end because of it.
6. They like quirks
Quirks make you lovable. Yes, yes, we’ve often heard it, but seriously: If you take a look around your environment and consciously pay attention to the supposed flaws of your fellow human beings, you’ll notice that we’re all a bit strange in our own way. That’s why we don’t even need to strive for perfection ourselves!