What do other people think of me?
This sentence helps me overcome my fear of evaluation
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What do others think of me? If you often ask yourself this question: welcome to the club! Here you will learn how to overcome your fear of evaluation.
Some people seem designed to be the center of attention. With their eyes directed at them like rays, they literally bask in the attention of others. I am the opposite of them. At a party I like to stand on the sidelines. I’d rather talk to one person than many, and I’d rather observe than be observed. And I’m actually pretty happy with it.
Nevertheless, I sometimes catch myself looking at the sunbathers among us with envy and irritation. I don’t want to be in her place. But I would like to know how they do it. Why don’t they burn? Why do they shine illuminated while I glow bright red? How do they protect themselves from this intense heat of other people’s judgments? Do you have another sun lotion? And if so, can I have some of it please?
What others think about me? Probably very little
I suspect that there is no general answer to this; we humans are far too different for that. But I recently read a sentence that offers at least a little sun protection factor – and might also help you to free yourself from the constant fears of what others think of you. It’s a little thought game:
If you’re worried about how others might judge you right now, remember that they’re probably too busy thinking about how they’re coming across to you.
Read the sentence again. And again. So! That really takes the wind out of the sails of fear. Our self-confidence may differ, as may our tendency to be introverted or extroverted. But we humans are quite similar in one thing: we all have a deep desire to be liked, some only by our own significant others, others by everyone.
Thought game against the fear of evaluation
We can also put this thought game to the test in everyday life: if two people sit opposite each other with a pimple on their forehead, they will probably be much more concerned about their own “flaw” than they would even notice the other person’s.
We are much more critical of ourselves than of others and, well, admittedly, people are also a bit self-centered. In this case, that’s not so bad after all. The next time we wonder whether we look weird, talk weird, or are being pigeonholed, remember that the other person’s thoughts are more likely to be about themselves.