Emotionally intelligent people have their…quirks. But what exactly are these?
Those who are emotionally intelligent know how to recognize their own emotions and regulate them when in doubt. It is not difficult for these people to read a room, to empathize with their fellow human beings and to empathize.
In fact, there are quite a few traits that reveal a person to be emotionally intelligent – which are rather unusual in our society. We have summarized some of them.
Emotionally intelligent people give up pretty quickly
The stories we love to tell are often about success: For example, the famous rags-to-riches-millionaire is a very popular fable that tells us that anyone can achieve financial wealth if that person just makes an effort and doesn’t give up.
But now it’s like this: The stories about all the people who “failed”, who just didn’t end up with millions in their accounts, are rarely told – but they exist. And they are exponentially more common than those who are successful. For every Stephen King, there are thousands upon thousands of authors who have not had success with their passion for writing.
So when emotionally intelligent people give up on a project after – sometimes – a short time, it’s not because they don’t finish things. Nor is it because they approached the matter pessimistically and expected failure anyway. They just learn more quickly, sometimes, that what they want to do isn’t succeeding. They don’t stay with the matter on principle, because “you’ve already invested so much time and money” – their investments have already paid off, but the result just wasn’t what they had hoped for. And emotionally intelligent people can recognize that and, above all, accept it.
They treat themselves and those around them well
Treating yourself and others well is an unusual quality? Unfortunately yes. Kindness acts like a painkiller, can be used against anxiety disorders help and the stress level reduce. And even if emotionally intelligent people may not be able to name these enumerated qualities in detail, they still know at least unconsciously the enormous importance of friendliness. towards yourself and towards others. And this ability is rarer than you might think.
Because many people are – unfortunately – extremely self-critical, so they tend towards a strong negative self-assessmentwhich can awaken feelings of worthlessness, fear of failure and guilt in them if they cannot live up to expectations from outside and inside. Emotionally intelligent people, on the other hand, wouldn’t think of treating themselves too harshly, and not because they’re self-absorbed. But because they know and appreciate themselves and their value. You would never criticize another person, negatively judge their decisions, their looks, their personality – so why would they do all this to themselves?
“Treat yourself like your best friend” isn’t just a phrase to these people, it’s a healthy attitude.
Emotionally intelligent people appreciate negative emotions
Joy, hope, inspiration – three emotions that are rated as “positive” in society. Sadness, anger, boredom – three emotions that everyone seems to agree are “negative”. But what does an evaluation like positive or negative actually mean in connection with feelings? Sure, joy feels nice, but anger feels less so. But is joy more valuable than anger and should it always be striven for?
It’s unrealistic to expect to be happy all the time. And if we think about it, enduring happiness about the state of affairs has hardly ever led to change. Anger, on the other hand, when properly channeled, can unleash tremendous power—is it really that negative? Emotions, after all, are just that: emotions. Categories like “positive” and “negative” are man-made. Every emotion has a purpose and a reason for being – emotionally intelligent people know that and live by it.
You are open to all changes
Some people may hear about change and instinctively think, “I don’t like that.” Others may see it the other way around – and ultimately both are wrong. Because changes – like emotions – are initially neither positive nor negative. They are a natural part of life. Most of the time we can only hope that changes will occur in the course of our time on earth that will lead to something better for us or our loved ones than the current state. But we have only a limited influence on it and there is a change every day with all the people around the world that is anything but pleasant.
But in the end we can never really say at the moment of change whether it will have a positive or negative impact on our lives and the lives of others. An outright resignation can feel bitter and disappointing at the moment – and in the end it could have been the first necessary step that brought us closer to our true passion. The separation from the relationship person can throw us into a hole from which we emerge stronger and more independent.
This does not mean toxic positivity, which tries desperately to pull something positive out of every blow of fate and often leaves no room for emotions such as sadness and anger. Rather, it means the feeling of acceptance that change is a part of life like breathing and that it is worth learning to love the way things are going. The alternative is to resist any change, reject everything new and mourn a time that is irretrievable – and what a sad way would that be to spend life in the here and now?
Sources used: hackspirit.com, randomactsofkindness.org, medicaldaily.com, psych.ubc.ca, pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov, sciencedirect.com, healthline.com