In challenging times, sometimes it is anything but easy to think positively and practice gratitude for the things we have. A Joy List can help with this.
When a person says that they are not feeling well at the moment, many people immediately respond: “Have you ever tried a gratitude journal?” And yes: remembering the things we have and that we can be grateful for is good. But is it really the solution to all problems?
I have to admit that I can’t do much with the concept of a diary. I tried it for months and dutifully entered it every evening, for which I am grateful. My problem: With a few exceptions, the same things were on the page every day (health, happy marriage, nice apartment as a retreat, enough money to do the things that are important to me, etc.). And of course it can help to keep reminding yourself of what you are rich in instead of focusing on what you (supposedly) lack. However, the effect eventually wore off for me due to daily repetition.
Joy List: What makes me happy?
An exciting concept that works much better for me is the Joy List. It’s simply a matter of listing things that bring us joy. This could be something delicious to eat, a good book, rest, time in nature, exercise or a party. “At their core, joy lists are a kind of beacon that can guide us to consciously cultivate moments, activities and connections that make us happy,” psychologist Alyssa Scolari tells The Good Trade. So it’s about capturing the good moments in order to remind ourselves in difficult moments what brings us joy. So we can then actively do something from the list to make ourselves happier and more satisfied.
Positive psychology is behind the principle of the Joy List. According to Harvard Health, the focus is on promoting happiness and emotional satisfaction. The three pillars of the psychological concept are connections with others, consciously cultivating pleasure, and developing gratitude. And this is exactly where the Joy List comes in: “It counteracts the tendency to ruminate endlessly about negative experiences and emotions,” says Alyssa Scolari. “Because that can promote depressive and anxious feelings.”
To get this straight: Of course, a Joy List cannot replace therapy. When we have a mental illness, no matter how long a list of beautiful moments can help. So if you feel like nothing brings you joy anymore, you could talk to a doctor or therapist about it.
But for the everyday downer moments, the stupid days, the everyday grind that sometimes just gets annoying, a joy list can be a helpful technique to remind us that it’s okay to consciously give ourselves joy and pleasure.
Here’s how: How a Joy List helps you become happier
- Unlike a gratitude diary, there are no fixed rules as to when, how often and in what form you should maintain your Joy List. Just write something down whenever you notice in your everyday life that something brings you joy. Whether you write this down on a piece of paper that fits in your wallet, in a diary of sorts that you always carry with you, or in a note on your phone is entirely up to you.
- Now try to consciously integrate the activities or things that give you moments of happiness into your everyday life. It’s definitely not always easy, but just ten minutes a day consciously spending something that’s good for you can lift your mood. Maybe you make a calendar entry that reminds you every day that now is the time to dance for a few minutes, watch the birds from the balcony, read, or pick or buy a bouquet of flowers.
- Once you have filled and used your Joy List for a few weeks, Listen carefully to yourself: How are you feeling about this? Does it help you to consciously remember the moments and activities that you enjoy? Are you able to incorporate them into your everyday life and use them to benefit yourself and your satisfaction? If that’s not the case, you could look into what’s causing it. Maybe you need other “Moments of Joy” or a higher or lower frequency at which you bring them out.
The Joy List helps me a lot. It reminds me how many things there are that bring me joy and make you happy without much effort. About how easy it is to integrate them into my life. And yes: The concept of the Joy List naturally shows parallels to the idea of the gratitude diary. Because remembering what brings us joy in difficult times also fuels gratitude. But the path to the goal definitely works better for me.