psychology
This trick will instantly make you likeable to others
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What makes us take someone straight to our hearts? Researchers have investigated exactly this and made interesting discoveries.
Often the first few seconds decide whether we like a person or not. But what exactly is it that makes us like someone? His clothes, posture or what he says? In fact, all of these things can play a role in whether we intuitively find a person pleasant.
We like people who are similar to us
Whether our counterpart shows similarities with us, such as common interests or shared tastes, gives plus or minus points on the sympathy scale. Researchers at the Ruhr University Bochum have just confirmed this with their work. The team led by Hans Alves, Professor of Social Cognition, was able to expand on this point.
For their study, the researchers had subjects in several online surveys state what their preferences, attitudes and dislikes were. Among other things, they asked about favorite books, food and drinks they liked and vacation plans. Some of the questions were general, but some also related to very specific preferences, somewhat bizarre hobbies such as certain costumes.
Surveys show what brings a particularly large number of sympathy points
In the next step, the participants should imagine that they would meet someone who gave the same information as they did on the individual points. “It was confirmed that the same preferences ensure more sympathy,” reports Prof. Alves. “And rare interests actually surpass those shared by many people.”
“When we meet someone who shares our attitude, it also satisfies our need for validation,” explains the psychologist. And this is especially true when our attitude or preference is very rare. If we then meet a person who has the same favorite fantasy writer as we do or who loves the same Hungarian band, we immediately feel connected to them and probably find them sympathetic right away.
Above all, atypical preferences create a feeling of connectedness
“The need for confirmation is particularly great when it comes to rare attitudes or preferences,” says Hans Alves. “We experience it as a kind of alliance – us against the rest of the world.” In addition, what sets us apart from other people makes up our personality. Rare preferences or attitudes are therefore more important than those that are very common.
The researchers now asked themselves whether things we do not like in common also connect us. Older studies on the subject actually suggested this, but the team around Hans Alves could not confirm this. According to their results, shared likes and positive attitudes generate more sympathy points than dislikes. In addition, according to Alves, people who are positive about something are generally liked more than those who are negative.
So what do these findings mean for us? We like people who resemble us best. They don’t have to do this in all aspects, but if someone dresses in a similar way, prefers to travel to the same country or eats the same snacks as we do, then we feel a direct connection to that person. So next time you’re looking to win someone over, why not give that person a compliment about their favorite series – you’re guaranteed to increase their reputation!
Source used: news.rub.de