Every third woman is afraid of spiders – you too? The BRIGITTE.de editors Anna and Saskia tried a confrontation seminar. We'll tell you whether it helped.
"Honey, where is my suitcase?" – "In the basement!". Urgs. A sentence that makes a spider phobic woman fear and anxiety. A basement like this is creepier than any horror film. Not because it's dark. Not even because it's dirty. No, simply because there is the enemy of all enemies, the ultimate horror, the boss: the spider. Or rather, quite a few of them. And of course, there is no long deliberation: the basement is a restricted area, I don't go in there. Never – not even under threat. Am i crazy? Goes so. At least one in three women feels uncomfortable at the thought of setting foot in the basement.
So does my colleague Saskia. I was really happy to have an ally, because our office is at the Hamburg port. Lots of water and lots of railings. I don't have to tell arachnophobics that this is a horrific combination. On the way to work we regularly have to avoid spiders that rope down from above or sometimes fly through the air with the wind. When I took a large copy (on my handbag) with me on the subway and had a screaming fit, I was fed up. I had to do something. I was annoyed by my fear!
Exposure therapy for spider fear – does it really help?
Saskia and I were terrified, but we decided to take the jungle exam among the therapies: confrontation. Mhm … take a spider in your hand – and then a tarantula too? Never, we thought. But we should surpass ourselves …
We drove to Güster (Schleswig-Holstein) to the animal film center to see animal trainer Holger Kirk and his wife Inga. The two are huge animal fans and tried to convey to us that spiders are basically really cool animals. We were of course pretty excited because we didn't know what was happening. And then it started.
How is exposure therapy structured?
Step 1: Draw a spider & view spider pictures
Holger let us paint a spider. Lo and behold: the enemy didn't look that unfriendly on our drawings. For comparison, Holger showed us a spider book with oversized drawings of spiders. They scared us – but what didn't move didn't scare us either. On the contrary: it was very interesting to see how a spider was anatomically structured and what special features it has.
Step 2: play with toy spiders
In all honesty: the plush and rubber spiders didn't really scare us. However, we had to squeak a little when Holger moved the spiders like a real specimen. It quickly became clear to us that the movement typical of spiders is what scares us.
Step 3: look at the skinned tarantula
Okay, now it got serious. Holger showed us the shell of a skinned tarantula – and that was really disgusting. Especially when he moved it with his hand. But the escalation level had not yet been reached.
Step 4: the real tarantula is coming
Screech! Help! OMG! Holger fetched a tarantula: a real one that moved. Her name was Cosima. "I'm a star – get me out of here" greeted – Saskia and I sat in a jungle exam, only that we didn't have to get any stars. At first we just looked at the spider, which luckily didn't move much. At some point we were so far that we let them run over a finger – later over the hand. And then … after a while … we even picked it up completely.
Of course, Holger always had to be careful where she crawled. To be honest, I kept getting goose bumps on the back of my neck, but it wasn't as bad as I had imagined it to be. As long as Holger was paying attention, everything was ok. And: At this point I was already meeeega proud of myself.
Step 6: catch the house spider
Many think: big spider = big fear. But thought wrong. The real enemy is not the tarantula (which by the way you would never meet in the apartment or in the basement). No, the really nasty spider is the fast house spider. In that case, Holger had caught a house spider. A really big, fast spider! And what can I say – the escalation level had been reached. Tarantula or not: Now we got down to business. Saskia and I were quite scared, but a little more dulled by the previous, gradual introduction.
At first we should only touch the spider in a glass. Saskia immediately said: "No, I won't do that." But what can I say: she did it – just like me. We were heroines. It got really bad when Holger let her crawl freely on the table and we were supposed to catch her with the glass. With panicked fidgeting and squealing, we actually made it – and celebrated quite a bit for it. The icing on the cake was when we picked up the fast spider and tried to get it under control. If someone had told us THAT beforehand, we would have shown him a bird.
Spider Confrontation – What Did It Do?
Much! We never thought we would even be able to pick up a spider. But lo and behold: It worked – and after that we felt like real winners. The recipe for success is: gradually approach the enemy and then deal with him until it becomes "boring". It would have taken us a few more hours to do that, but the foundation stone was laid. Thank you, Holger and Inga! Now it's time to practice at home. Go to the basement, catch spiders in the apartment with a glass and sometimes go camping. The more we deal with spiders, the less afraid we will be. If we don't do that – and Holger also said that very clearly – fear can come back. And that would be a shame …
You can see how Saskia and I did each other in the video above!
Incidentally, an hour spider seminar costs 70 euros. You can find more information at www.spinnen-angst.de.