No tank-sized stroller can help: Ever since blogger Anke had a child, she has been constantly overlooked on the street. What is it?
I don't think it's bad that men on the street don't even look at me when I meet them with all their knees – after all, I've already married the best of them anyway. Nevertheless, it strikes me of course that no one has a little smile left for me (there used to be that).
I really don't ALWAYS have a children's toothbrush or baby vomit in my hair! Honest! And sometimes my clothes are mostly clean (on the way to the playground, for example, it's mostly still possible) and I don't have any rubber boots on!
So it can't be because of the "look". But I'm not only invisible to men … but also to women (without children) and teenagers of both sexes.
Like under the magic hat
An example: Every time I stand in a queue – whether at the ice cream parlor or the supermarket checkout – and bend down to the child or diaper bag, this damned stealth technology automatically kicks in and makes me disappear.
At least that's how it has to be, because otherwise I can't explain to myself that when I straighten up, a new person will stand in front of me. If I then say to them: "Excuse me, I think you just pushed your way forward", I (almost) always get the following answer: "Oh, didn't see you at all! Were you in line?"
I BEG YOUR PARDON!?
I'm a not exactly tiny woman, I am currently wearing a squeaky yellow raincoat, I have an imposing stroller in front of or next to me, a pink diaper bag hanging on it and a child with me that really NEVER keeps the little Schnüss! So: HOW THE HELL CAN YOU OVERLOOK ME ???
Could it be that I am wearing a magic hat that controls itself? Without buttons on the stroller? That is the only logical explanation!
And the amazing thing is, the camouflage can even be extended to other people! Example: A few weeks ago my husband wanted to treat himself to something "small to look forward to". A new pair of sunglasses. He was willing to pay a sum that made me feel a little sick (I may be a little stingy … but that doesn't matter here).
So on a Saturday we drove to a fancy eyewear shop with the child and stroller, went inside, admired the display and waited for someone from the staff to take care of us. We observed how the other customers were gradually being supplied with coffee or sparkling wine and were looking forward to enjoying this service ourselves.
For us there is neither champagne nor coffee
After 20 minutes, however, we were still completely out of contact with the seller and therefore dared a direct advance: We spoke to an employee and asked for a special model. He handed it to my husband without a word, but immediately disappeared again. We stood there like fools.
Apparently we were not perceived as customers … not even after VERBAL signaled a clear interest in buying! For us there was no coffee, no champagne, not even a single word addressed to us. NOTHING! Nobody even cared what we did with said expensive glasses model!
Then of course we just left. And my husband ordered on the internet. What else should you do if you seem so unattractive or invisible as a family with a child that you can't get anything sold in retail !?
For sellers, we are the visible horror
On the other hand, I am apparently EXTREMELY visible when I go into clothing stores with my daughter: All salespeople eyes immediately turn to me and widen in fear … at the latest when I unbuckle the little madam and take it out of the stroller. Then I can literally see what they're thinking: "Oh, no! A child! It must have chocolate on its hands! It will touch the blouses! It will mess up your pants! It will DESTROY the accessories!"
Admittedly: Sometimes I have to smile at the panic of these ladies. But because they are not sooooo wrong with the risk assessment, I try very hard to keep my offspring in check and only let them go with clean hands. And basically I rarely venture into shops with goods that a toddler would be left without protection and that I could not afford in an emergency. Nevertheless: In such a situation, stealth technology would definitely be of benefit to me and my passion for strolling! But without buttons …
Maybe a foghorn will help?
NATURALLY, this doesn't happen all the time (except for the queuing phenomenon – that happens to me at least once a week) and sometimes it's certainly not because of me, the child or the non-controllable stealth technology, but it's just bad luck – with annoyed salespeople who just don't feel like it, with inattentive passers-by who are totally in their thoughts and THEREFORE run over my child and with teenagers who are too busy with themselves to notice that they are at the checkout for me almost climb on the arm because of the jostling.
And as I said: Basically, I think it's really good to be able to become invisible from time to time. But please only if it suits ME! In all the moments when strangers feel called to criticize my upbringing, to give me tips, to poke me or to paw my child, I would be thrilled to have such a stealth button available.
That would save my nerves a lot! But … as long as I can't find this button … disappearing just isn't fun! That's why I'm going to upgrade now. I attach a tiny FOG HORN to the stroller! I think it's a great idea! Just in case – in case the stealth thing starts up again when I can't use it. I'll order right away. And proper earmuffs for Ella. After all, I'm not a bad mother … Really now!
Text by Anke Neckar, published in full on www.laecheln-und-winken.com