Taboo questions in love: These doubts are a warning sign


Doubt is part of being human. We doubt ourselves, our decisions, our priorities, habits and our feelings anyway. It goes without saying that our relationships, especially our partnerships or friendships, are always on the line and have to be subjected to our critical examination. As long as we don't constantly question them and feel relieved after the doubt because we've found we're happy with the relationship in question, that's normal and perfectly fine.

Why do we doubt our relationship?

In a partnership, doubts usually arise when our perception does not match our claims or ideas about love. The discrepancy signals our feeling and sets the brooding process in motion. It gives us the chance to either rethink and adjust our perception (Am I maybe getting into something? Do I look too much at the problems and not enough at the good things about our relationship?) or our demands on love (Isn't it so bad having an everyday life together? Maybe we don't have to have a relationship like the couples on Instagram?).

If we succeed in this, so that our feeling is calm and the urge to doubt subsides, the reflection has brought us further and probably even strengthened our love or decision for the partnership. If not, the questions will come back after a short time. And then we should draw conclusions for better or worse.

"In a relationship nothing should be taboo", writes the author and science journalist Dr. Werner Bartens in his book "In Praise of Long Love". "There are, however, a few questions that you shouldn't be asking all the time. Neither yourself, the other person, nor the relationship. If they can't be suppressed, it speaks to a certain degree of disruption." Action is then inevitable, unless we want to mutate into unhappy curmudgeons. Talking openly with your partner about your concerns, seeking professional help if necessary, taking a break from the relationship or breaking up are the best answers.

In our gallery you can find out which questions are specifically that should alert you to incessant (!) Popping up in your thoughts.