Facing death every day is one of the most difficult tasks for many. However, Anja Eschweiler made a conscious decision to take this path in order to help families who have to take what is probably the toughest step: accompanying their child as they die.
“Not to try the impossible, but to do the possible with joy” is a quote from the rainbow country, a children’s hospice in Düsseldorf. It has been headed by Anja Eschweiler since 2021.
Anja Eschweiler heads the Regenbogenland children’s hospice in Düsseldorf
The subject of death is rather not described in terms of life and joy, but that is exactly what Anja Eschweiler conveys. In Rainbow Land you go hand in hand with death, but beforehand the staff and their guests celebrate every single second of this wonderful life. How it works? With passion and a fundamentally positive approach to life.
BRIGITTE: What was your life like before you decided to take over the management of a children and youth hospice?
Anja Eschweiler: I’m actually a grown plant from the automotive industry. I quickly decided to work in public relations and worked for a premium automobile manufacturer for a total of 13 years. It was a job I loved very much and it suited me. I had great colleagues. It was a fulfilling job, thematically and in terms of time.
How did you come into contact with Rainbow Country?
At that time I sat on the other side and made donations. In 2010 I received a donation request from Rainbow Land, which said that they needed a new vehicle for the excursions with the children. However, it was very rare that we were allowed to donate vehicles. Of course, I tried my luck anyway. At that time I hardly had any idea what was behind child hospice work and asked if I could come over for a house presentation.
Was it possible for you to achieve anything because of the vehicle?
In fact, by the time the house was introduced, I already had a “yes” in my pocket. At that time I drove to the children’s hospice and had a small mini-model van with me in my luggage. I was shown around, explained to me what was behind the children’s hospice work and afterwards there was coffee. Then I put the model car on the table and said: “I have a small present with me. In two months it will be a big one in front of the door”.
What a nice present.
And it was such an emotional moment, everyone started crying, including me. That was when I was lost to the hospice. I saw the great work, the warmth, the friendliness and the incredible zest for life. This can be seen in the employees, the guests and in the premises. That actually moved me crazy.
And how did it go on then?
One then resulted in the other. We handed over the car two months later. Then we donated more often from the company and organized the Christmas party for the families in our company. That is always a highlight of the year. There are over 250 guests from affected and orphaned families. I’ve also started donating more privately and offering my support with public relations.
Then when did you take on official duties?
In 2017 I was elected to the board, where I was responsible for fundraising and public relations on a voluntary basis.
What is it that makes rainbow land so special?
Above all, these are our moments with each other.
What is this exactly?
We have a motto that goes back to the founder of the hospice movement Cicely Saunders: We cannot give life more days, but we can give days more life. And that’s exactly what happens every day in Rainbow Land. These are very little togetherness moments in which you go for a walk together, eat an ice cream. It’s about moments that are sometimes taken for granted for us, but not for our guests. A lot is invested to make the remaining hours, days, weeks, months or years of the children and their families as special as possible.
When do you start accompanying the children?
A children’s hospice is not only allowed to accompany the affected children and adolescents in the final phase of their lives, but can also support the families during the period of the illness, which can mean a very long journey together.
How do you support the children?
We offer many therapy options to encourage the children. For example, there is animal-assisted therapy, where a therapy dog comes by. In such moments, no words are needed, the dog finds a very special approach to the children, which is also a wonderful moment to be together. The Cologne clinic clowns go on fantasy journeys with the children tailored to each individual guest, then sometimes little astronauts are with us.
You have taken over the management of the rainbow country since 2021. Before, since 2019, you were the head of fundraising and public relations.
Yes, exactly. I now take care of administrative matters a lot and continue to look after the fundraising area, I do house presentations and lectures, explain what the idea of child hospice work is and go to lectures. I also take care of the rainbow country’s social media. This means that I am often very close to the beautiful moments together. This is how we want to show the world what our days are like.
What was your motivation behind leaving the Group’s safe haven and taking on the task of running a donation-based children’s hospice?
I’m just really passionate about this topic. For a while I did both in parallel – corporate and volunteer work. Then all of a sudden, topics from two worlds collided. And from my point of view the discrepancy got bigger and bigger. You can imagine it a bit like this: No matter what problem we are madly upset about today, when it comes to the health of loved ones and then also of the children, then many problems no longer play a role. Then the question became more and more urgent for me: What is the point of my work? And then it quickly became clear that I would dare to step out of this protective group and into a donation-financed association. That was the last push that made me jump.
They are an inpatient facility, which means that children and families come to you. How can you imagine that?
Think of it as a bit like a vacation. The guests sometimes come for a long weekend or for several days or a few weeks. The whole family can move in with us and all everyday worries are relieved of them: You don’t have to clean, wash or cook. The sick child is cared for in the best possible way and the siblings are also looked after. It should be a relief for the parents and the children. In addition to the relief stays, we also take in children and young people in their final phase of life, some of them we have known for a very long time. For me, the families are all superheroes and deserve that we accompany them on their way when they need it, then our team stands like a wall behind them.
Especially when it comes to children, there are probably very many standing by helplessly. What advice would you give as to how best friends and family should deal with the situation?
That is actually very individual. Most of the time, the environment has difficulties. Many prefer to withdraw completely instead of saying the wrong thing. Death is generally still a taboo subject, especially when it affects children. But to get out of the situation means to leave the parents alone. You have to send signals that you are there, that you sympathize with your parents. The most important thing is to make the parents feel like they have someone.
How do you go about having death by your side as your daily companion?
The topics of death and mourning must be allowed to find a space and that is what they do with us. But I always have the good feeling that we are there for the families and that we can accompany them in their grief. Unfortunately, we cannot prevent the children from being sick or dying, but we can give them beautiful moments during their illness phase and relieve the parents and support the families in saying goodbye and in mourning.
What are the things that you have come to appreciate in particular through your work?
I think it’s actually the appreciation of these little moments, the many things that are taken for granted in life, even if it’s just breakfast in the morning. When it comes to a sick person who is most likely to die early, our motto makes sense to many: We have to give the day more life. But what we forget is that this applies to us as well, we can no longer give our life more days, so we should try to fill every day that we are given with more life. We don’t know how many days are ahead of us either.
Do you perceive these moments differently?
Of course, you can’t deny that in this job you get a good deal of gratitude and humility. But that can’t hurt anyone. You quickly learn that the greatest luxury is not money or expensive cars, but time with loved ones – I think all of our parents would trade any luxury for a few more minutes with their beloved child.