Everyone strives for more and more and wants to be totally extraordinary in everything. But why? Asks our author, who loves her absolutely average life.
Somehow the whole thing has more sex appeal in English: “mediocre” is what they say. Somehow has something. In fact, I also think the word “average” is completely okay. When others insist that they are completely different and not at all like the average, I always wonder why that is so important. As a kid, I always thought it was okay if I had a totally average 2. “If you are a good average, life is easy for you,” my father used to say. I think he’s right.
Is something wrong with me?
It has stayed that way to this day: My life is not incredibly exciting or totally extraordinary. Two children, a man, an apartment with a garden. So far I have not made a spectacular invention, saved a life, or set a record. Sometimes I think something is wrong with me because my tendency to optimize is so poor.
Of course I have asked myself in the past whether I should go to India and learn to meditate “properly”. Wouldn’t it be great to write a book? Couldn’t I organize a huge demonstration against all the injustice on this planet? Because of course I notice that a lot is going wrong in this world. But maybe I don’t have to write the book, just read it ?! Maybe I would rather do yoga in the living room than in a monastery in Asia ?! And maybe it is enough to go to a demo instead of organizing it?
I don’t have to save the world
I realized that I can only do what I can do. That I like to be the average person. I don’t have to save the world, it’s okay if I make targeted donations, give something to the homeless person around the corner and occasionally bring flowers or something to eat to my older neighbor. I don’t have to be the best mother in the world, it’s okay if I can do well with my children, if everyone is happy and, above all, healthy.
I don’t have to run a marathon, but can just be proud because I actually manage to go to the completely uncool gymnastics course at the gymnastics club around the corner twice a week so that my back, which is unfortunately below average, doesn’t hurt. Fortunately, I don’t have to look like a model at all: if I carry my little seat in front of me, that’s okay after two pregnancies. And I’m not above average ugly either, but (surprise!) Rather average good-looking. Before, when I wanted to become a doctor and save people, now I work part-time – and that’s okay too.
There are people I like above average
As far as I can, I do what makes me and, if possible, others happy. I have nice vacations with my children and my husband, I spend a lot of time with my friends and family, I go to concerts, in restaurants, bars, to the cinema, I read exciting books. I do what most do: eat, drink, sleep, work, do a little housework – and above all have a really good time in between with people I like above average (at least that!). That doesn’t always make me happy, but mostly. I’m on average satisfied, I guess.
I know what I have is worth a lot. A healthy family, very good friends, no financial hardship: everything could be really worse. I’m happy about that. And what is happiness anyway? Something different for everyone. However, happiness researchers say that factors such as friendship, health, children, sociability, a job we are good at, and enough money to meet basic needs are the basis for our personal happiness. I have all of this, the rest is luxury.
Enough is better than too much
My life is not super crazy and extraordinary. But it is good. Of course, everything could always be more, better, bigger, better, more expensive, more exclusive and special. But does it have to? I do not think so. “Enough is better than too much” said a friend of mine the other day. It doesn’t have to be too much, it is enough if it is enough. Average is absolutely okay. At least if it makes you happy.