A mom and neuroscientist has shared the 5 things you shouldn’t say to raise smart kids. And this is surely the magic recipe for that…
As we know, educational models evolve and change very quickly, but there are not only things to scratch, on the contrary! Some methods are beneficial and good to keep for raising children serenely. If parents share their recipe for happiness, it is also important to trust childhood specialists to be sure that the methods are the right ones. Whether it’s for your child to be happy or for them to find their voice and succeed as they grow up, many specialists are there to guide you.
This time it’s Caroline Leaf, a neuroscientist and mom who shared her tips on cnbc.com. Essential tips according to her for raising intelligent and emotionally intelligent children too. Both are of great importance in their evolution. Here is what the specialist advises parents who want to see their children become emotionally intelligent adults…
What’s next after this ad
The 5 phrases not to say for children to become intelligent
Caroline Leaf details the common phrases that you really need to remove from your vocabulary when you are a parent:
- “You are nothing” : “When a child hears this sentence, it can lead to emotions of rage, anxiety, self-pity or despair. If left unmanaged, an identity crisis can create feelings of shame that can easily seep into all aspects of a child’s life, potentially leading to mental health issues.” So she proposes to replace this sentence by trying to take into consideration the state of mind of the child. We must avoid the accusatory tone and accompany him in his emotions to be able to manage them together.
- “You are overreacting!” : Again, it is important to consider your child’s emotions. He is also capable of evaluating your anger, your anxiety, as Caroline Leaf explains. It is better to calm down before addressing him and not to hesitate to tell him “I need a moment to calm down.”
- “It’s not that bad, you’ll get over it.” : The neuroscientist explains “When you tell a child they’ll ‘get over it’, you invalidate their experience and can make them feel bad for having normal human emotions.” And it’s never good to invalidate your feelings! She suggests replacing this sentence with: “I hear you. It looks tough! What can I do to help you?”
- “Stop crying !” : Caroline Leaf explains the function of tears “Crying is a neurobiological mechanism that helps us deal with pent-up energy that builds up in the mind, brain, and body. It is an extremely important tool to prevent the suppression of emotions and to help us maintain our mental well-being.” Better to help the child to express what makes him sad with a walk, an activity rather than to invalidate his emotions. At the risk of creating a pressure cooker that will explode…
- “Because I said so.” : For the neuroscientist, it is important to always explain our decisions to children. It is in particular thanks to this that their curiosity is awakened little by little. She develops: “Your child looks to the adults in his life to help him make sense of the world. So instead of giving an order, use these moments as teaching opportunities to better prepare your child for future challenges.”