A 4-year-old child was forgotten on a school bus while on his way to school, in Calvados, on February 4. With Elena Goutard, we were interested in the psychological consequences of such an event on a child of this age.
An incident with serious consequences. Thursday February 4, a 4 year old boy was forgotten in a school bus in Calvados. The child was going to the school in Thury-Harcourt, where he was educated in the junior section, reports Ouest-France.
The little boy was found by the bus driver at the time of his inspection. The latter notified the organization in charge of school transport and the child was able to return to school at the end of the morning. However, his parents were not notified until Friday evening of this incident, which is denied by the community of communes of Cingal-Suisse Normande (CDC) in charge of school transport. They claim to have called the little boy's mother. The child's parents still left a handrail at the Thury-Harcourt gendarmerie.
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A feeling of insecurity
Unfortunately, this incident is far from an isolated one. Last December, in Vervins, another 4-year-old child was forgotten in a bus for hours under -3 °. The little boy, found frozen, had come close to death. These cases made us wonder what the psychological consequences were on the child, after having experienced such a situation. For Elena Goutard, family and parental coach, they can be multiple and more or less serious.
The child may have:
- Fear of separating from his parents
- Afraid to go to school because it reminds her of these events
- A feeling of insecurity and an inability to be alone even in his room: he always asks his parents
- Sleep disorders, having nightmares: his brain rehashes his experiences / eating disorders
- A feeling of abandonment, of being cut off from everything
" Sometimes the child seems to experience it on the spot, but it can reappear a few months or even a few years later and lead to disorders such as social anxiety for example. In these cases, it is difficult to make the connection with this past incident. You should not hesitate to go see a psychologist ”, warns the specialist. Ditto, if the sleeping and eating disorders continue or if he cannot get over his fears, it is necessary to consult.
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How to reassure him?
“Listen to the child first. Let him tell you about the incident, to put some words into his experience. Ask him questions, but be more welcoming of what the child is going through rather than reassuring him right away. Thus, he will be able to empty his emotions ", advises the expert. Later in the day, or the next day, you can talk to the child about it again "Without dramatizing the events" to see if it opens. If you see that he doesn't want to talk about it, you can tell him a story similar to his with a happy ending: "He'll identify with the character, but he's not him, so he'll be more receptive and more inclined to open up. " He will also understand that these are things that can happen, but that the outcome is positive.
If he's really afraid of going back to school or being alone, "Don't rush it", advises Elena Goutard. "Take it step by step, for example, send it half a day to school, then a whole day. If he has to take the bus, feel free to take him a few trips. You can also provide him with small things to reassure him such as a bracelet with your phone number. Thus, he knows that if he experiences a similar situation (for example, getting lost in a supermarket, editor's note), he can ask for help, he knows he will be okay ", she explains. The coach also recommends playing small games, like playing hide and seek, to show him that he is always found.
For Elena Goutard, it is also essential for parents to pay attention to how they deal with their emotions. “Try to relativize, to play down, to stay calm and confident. The goal is not to pass on your anxieties to the child, who is a real sponge ", she concludes.