Even little girls are taught how to be better. Women always have to become something, men, on the other hand, are welcome to be. What's that supposed to mean?
Last week I got a newsletter that was about flirting. In fact, it was about what men are into women. I read expressions like "deep cleavage", "natural beauty" and "little makeup" and got angry. Then I looked for the part that was about what women like in men, didn't find it and got even more angry. Why? Because it is so typical, even in 2019. There is a very specific idea of what women should be like, and it is not exclusively, but primarily, given by men. This of course includes being beautiful, slim but not too thin, smart but not too ambitious, assertive but not too bossy, pleasing but not boring, among other things. In addition, women should have families and children, but please not too many of them, they should work, but only as little as possible, they should be sexy, but now please not too much.
It's never enough!
Now, let's be honest, everyone knows that: Singles are constantly asked when they will finally have a husband. Women with friends are constantly asked when they are getting married. Married people are regularly asked when they will have children. Women who have one child are asked when the second will come. Only women who have offspring for the third time are looked at somewhat strange. Apparently more than two children do not fit into the picture of the German model family. When we're over 60, we're probably constantly asked when we're finally going to be a grandma. If a woman is not working at all, she is asked when she will be working again. If she works fully, whether she sees her children enough. I could go on and on with this list. Not that it matters what others ask or want, but it clearly shows that it is never, really never enough.
We are reminded on every street corner that we have something to improve
I don't want to complain here, I just want to write it down because I've been burning my nails for years. In fact, we are reminded on every street corner that we really still have something to improve. The structure of our bum (body lotion), our sexiness (lingerie) or our face (anti-wrinkle cream) must be optimized in any case, that is clear. The only question is, what for again. In theory, you could of course leave it all and be the way you look in the morning. I just know that the people in the newsletter mean something completely different by natural beauty than I do. In addition, if you are not naturally beautiful enough, you are not enough. If you're beautiful enough, you're probably not smart enough. But if you are both, in case of doubt you are a bad mother. It always works. If we are only housewives, then we are "only" housewives. When we work, we are ambitious career women. In fact, we are constantly being suggested that we are not enough, that we still have to become something – even if only tight. Optimize, optimize, optimize! Incidentally, the fact that men now have similar problems in some areas, including being a bit younger, fitter, and fancier than 20 years ago, doesn't make it any better. Besides, that's not the point here.
When men have big bellies, it's kind of really cozy
We women are trimmed to always be different than we are, to become better, to somehow become different – even if we are already great. Maybe because we are worth it. Or maybe just to keep us in check forever, so that we can never relax, always buy something, change something, design it even better – and maybe find out that this whole patriarchal society is not that great. At least if you're not a man. Men can just be who they are. If they have a big belly, then it's usually still somehow totally cozy or very cute. If they don't have children or a wife, that's okay. They are not called "old bachelors" either – which would be the very charming equivalent of the old maid, but which doesn't even exist.
You can stay exactly as you are! Without anyone saying "You may"
That is why I would like to call out to everyone here, but especially to my and our daughters, very loudly: You can stay exactly as you are! Without anyone saying "You may". And you can also like to become something. But only if you want that too. In no case should you wear deep necklines or have children or shut up because someone wants that or about 80% of men are into it – as this unspeakable newsletter suggested to me. So, I had to get rid of that. Thank you for listening!