No relationship is perfect, either. But it sometimes happens that it is always the same who take care of it. It is time for that to change. Here are 5 signs that an asymmetry exists within a relationship.
It is often complicated to constantly measure the equality of practices in a relationship, especially in terms of money spent for the other, household chores performed or even taking charge of the dialogue. In heterosexual couples, for example, these data are too often taken up by women and are primarily the result of a patriarchal system putting pressure on them to support the entire relationship.
But other signs can be harbingers of an asymmetric relationship, regardless of the gender identity or sexual orientation of the people in it. If the characters, the experiences and the different upbringings mean that there will always be a slight imbalance in relationships, certain factors can open our eyes to an asymmetry that is psychologically dangerous in the long term. Here are 5 signs, highlighted by the media Well + Good, which show the existence of an unbalanced relationship.
You have difficulty communicating honestly and openly with your partner
When you sense that there is a problem or a knot in your relationship but it is impossible for you to discuss it, it may be that it is asymmetrical. You see the concern and want to talk about it, but the person in front of you either ignores it or just doesn’t see it. The burden of bringing the subject to the mat then becomes very heavy to carry. However, it should not be so much.
You can’t agree on the status of your relationship
While labels are constantly on the move and don’t determine who you are in this relationship, they do, however, shed light on things in your head but also in the eyes of society. Taking them back is a great idea, but if your partner doesn’t agree with you about the nature of the bond between you, it’s a losing game you’re playing. Since if they don’t put on the same glasses as you to view your relationship, then none of your emotional aspirations will be fulfilled.
You are more or less integrated with his family and friends than he.
Have you made him meet all of your friends and family while you don’t know any of his relatives? Perhaps this is a sign that your relationship is asymmetrical. Of course, this applies to people who get along well with loved ones and are able to see them often but never introduce them to their partner. If this is the case, it is important to question yourself about what you expect from this relationship. And above all, it is crucial not to put your emotions after those of the other under the pretext that they do not experience it the same way.
You think you depend on your partner without them seeming to depend on you
Let it be clear: emotionally, you are not dependent on anyone. But sometimes a relationship makes you believe it. However, this constitutes violence. If the other person puts you in a situation where you constantly feel like you have to prove something to them in order to be valuable to them, then your relationship is asymmetrical and, what’s more, potentially dangerous. Indeed, the violentometer, developed by the Hubertine Auclerc center, places humiliation, demeaning the projects of the other and emotional blackmail in alarming behaviors. If so, numbers like 3919 or sites like Commentonsaime.fr are available to help you.
You are the only one who wants to change the relationship
Whatever its form, a relationship is not a job that you can do alone. But if you have the impression that you are going out of your way with your partner to solidify the bond that unites you, it is probably because you are losing out. If, for reasons of mental health, they are not able to invest in the relationship in the same way as you, this is not a problem. As long as you can talk about it together. But if you realize that it is just a lack of desire, you have to question yourself about the reasons why you continue to spend time with this person. Also, not wanting to “move forward” the relationship is not an issue (you hang out with people to have a good time, not for social performance) but it is still easier to be around people who are in the process. same optics as you.
Certainly, ideal relationships do not exist. And the concept of the exclusive couple has a lot of biases and blind spots that it is important to decipher. But whether they are monogamous or polyamorous, queer or straight, romantic relationships can be very difficult to carry when one of the actor.ice.s takes care of all the emotional work. For this, it is crucial to try to love yourself in order to take a maximum distance when you fall in love with someone else. Easier said than done, sure, but you can do it.
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