this father writes an open letter to authorize the spouses to attend the pregnancy ultrasounds

On Instagram, a dad posted a meaningful post that makes you think about what it means to forbid the second partner to attend pregnancy ultrasounds.

Since the start of the Covid-19 crisis, the list of things forbidden to us has continued to grow. Among them, human contact, trips to the other side of the world … a lot of things that bring joy, lightness and well-being to life. Even the magic of expecting a child and bringing it into the world is tainted, with more than half of them attending medical examinations and visits to the maternity ward.

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Alexandre Marcel, dad of a little Ambre, protested against this restriction protocol, which also prohibits a spouse from attending pregnancy ultrasounds. Character committed to parental equality and author of I did not expect that ! (ed. Larousse), his Instagram account, papa_plume, has more than 14,000 subscribers. This is where he chose to publish an open letter, to protest and question the real need to not allow a second person during pregnancy ultrasounds.

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Video by Clemence Chevallet

For him, these unique moments must be lived together, in order to involve the partner. Banning them from participating sends a negative message with far-reaching consequences. His thinking is more than important! Here is his letter:

“A few weeks ago my wife had her first trimester ultrasound. Under the current COVID protocol, I was not allowed to attend.

Forgive me, but there is something missing. We let people go to work on site, congregate in transport (because, make no mistake, some metro lines are crowded morning and evening), play football without a mask, but we deny a future parent the right to attend pregnancy ultrasounds?

A child is made in two, imagined in two, welcomed in two. Participating in these ultrasounds is for the man (or the woman) the opportunity to meet his baby and to project himself. For having lived them with my daughter, these are extraordinary moments, which forge an existence.

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It is legitimate to expect young fathers (and men in general) to be more involved in their home. Even today, 70% of domestic and family tasks are performed by women; one in two mothers adjusts their professional activity after the birth of a child, compared with only one in nine fathers. Throughout my book, I also invite fathers to take responsibility and do their part – of love, of domestic work, of mental burden. Both for their own development and to overthrow the table of patriarchy.

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With that in mind, I believe that banning spouses from attending quarterly ultrasounds is a terrible setback. This is sending them the message that they are not essential; that pregnancy is a biological event, which takes place between mother and child. How can men be encouraged to take paternity leave in this case? To invest in? To feel, deep inside, in their guts, the need for their presence?

Weddings, birthdays, trips … the epidemic robs us of many moments of joy which, fortunately, can often be postponed. You can't postpone an ultrasound. These founding moments are lost forever. Help us find them, because it is, I believe, also a matter of public health. "