True love: this is how you find it – and keep it alive

relationship
10 tips to find – and keep – true love

by Bianka Echtermeyer
September 17, 2021, 4:12 pm

Love expert and author Susan J. Elliott wrote for Psychology Today written down which points are essential for them in love.

1. To find the right person, you have to be the right person

A new person in life does not solve the old problems of his own. In order to enter into a relationship, you should therefore have worked out for yourself beforehand where the previous ones broke. What patterns do you have in yourself that are not good for a relationship? How do you want to live in a partnership, and what do you have to change yourself? These are important questions to ask yourself at the beginning, says Susan J. Elliott.

2. To find love you have to know your limits

What can you not live with in a relationship? If the other person cheats, drinks too much and too often alcohol, is financially dependent, is dishonest, permanently offended?

Everyone should recognize for themselves which injuries they: he cannot stand in a relationship. And if you really cross a border, you should go. Anything else would be a degradation of one’s own dignity. Of course you have to be careful that the limits are not set too tight. But every person can judge which behavior causes too deep wounds in the soul.

3. Communicate fairly and lovingly

For a relationship it is important that you do not hurt the other: n with words. But also: that you don’t allow the other person to put you down. Good communication is based on feelings: “I feel that …” – “I feel that way …” – “I wish that …”.

4. A relationship needs goals and dreams

Both are equally important in a relationship: it has to move and grow. However, goals and dreams do not only apply to the couple together. Each partner also has this for himself, with whom they: he needs the support of the counterpart.

5. Learn to choose the right people

Which people do you surround yourself with? Do you flourish with your friends, or do you also have some that burden you more than they do you good? Do you regularly visit relatives who are actually just dragging you down? The people around us also say a lot about our ability to build relationships. Do I allow people to reduce my quality of life? Or do I keep such people at a distance? Those who take good care of their surroundings also attract the right partners.

6. Stop being a victim

You are in control of your life, even if you don’t always notice it. Of course there are events that come crashing down on us, but we have the power to make something of it. How do you deal with such situations: do you come up with solutions or do you give in?

7. Have a goal

To improve your life, it makes sense to take your time and think about what you want to achieve. You can only do that with calm, says Susan J. Elliott. It doesn’t work if we look at the smartphone every ten minutes. If you don’t compensate your frustration with food or the like, but deal with your feelings, you have the chance to really change something.

8. True love is not a burden in the long run

Of course, conflict and hard times are part of any relationship. But true love doesn’t make life more difficult than it was before. A: e loving: r partner: in disciplines and criticizes his counterpart not constantly, he or she is not a burden, but an enrichment.

9. Don’t give up on the rest of the world

In good relationships you have more than just the partner or partners: in, but also your own hobbies, friends and other interests. Anyone who asks to give that up is definitely not the right one.

10. Love is action

One thing shouldn’t be forgotten at the end of the day: love is not shown by what we say, but by what we do.

Source used: Psychology Today

Brigitte