Uncool but happy
Why I don’t expect my children to live in the city
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Our author is actually a city dweller. Nevertheless, she moved to the country for her children. The city doesn’t think it’s a good place to grow and discover.
by Marie Stadler
“Look, mom!” My two-year-old proudly holds a crown cap in one hand and a cigarette butt in the other hand. I kneel down to him and take away his treasures as carefully as possible. “You mustn’t touch that!” I tell him, wiping his hands with Sagrotan towels and looking around for other treasures. On offer here in the city center: an empty Capri sun, a dirty glove, a pigeon shit and a urine stain. Well cheers! “Come on!” I say, I’d rather pick him up before he can recapture the stub and cross the street with my screaming and kicking rebel. Cars rush past us to the left and right. My arm hurts and I feel sorry for my child.
I loved this city once
There are moments like these when I am happy to only be a city tourist. I used to love everything here. The smell of hot asphalt, the hustle and bustle, the noises, the cafés, the many possibilities, the facades steeped in history. When my boyfriend and I decided to move to the country, it really strained me. I saw myself already wearing rubber boots and clothes from the last century, breathing in cow dung air, sinking into yawning boredom. Oh man. Leaving the city was a tough step. But I have never regretted it. You get used to cow dung quickly and I definitely don’t get bored.
Living in the country feels uncool
When I tell my friends from the past about my new home, I see the pity on their faces. “New development area, so. Mow the lawn tonight? Oha. And the trains only go out to you every hour in the evening? I see.” For a very short time I get the impulse to justify myself for my uncool life out there. But only briefly. Because then I tell them that the children dig in the garden while I am making food, that I can send a four-year-old to the bakery here by myself and that cycling with children is not a near-death experience here, it is fun. And bang, their pity will pass. Every coin has two sides. It’s always like that.
Why I want to show my children nature first
I know that I’m treading on a lot of people with this, but I have a clear stance when it comes to the ideal living space for children. I don’t believe in the educational value of glamorous city life, even if hipster parents try to compensate for it with super healthy organic clothes and creaky wooden floorboards in centuries-old old buildings. As if that would replace the creaking of a real tree … I am by no means condemning the lifestyle itself. The only thing that bothers me is the unbroken belief that that, and only that, is the ultimate! For me and my family, the ultimate is something else. I want my children to know that apples don’t grow on supermarket shelves, but on trees. That animals normally live free and not just behind bars in zoos. I want you to be able to discover your living space without me having to be there all the time and you should be able to keep your treasures. You can do this with pine cones, a soft piece of moss, a snail shell and a drop of dew. That doesn’t work with bottle caps and cigarette butts.
A little rest is good for everyone
Of course, I don’t want to tell anyone where they’re going. Everyone has to decide for themselves and sometimes you have no choice at all. But to all the people who only consider life in the big city worth living: I understand what you love about it. I also understand that you enjoy spending your afternoons in parks and fenced-off playgrounds. It does. Be happy with it. I was too. There is only one thing I would like to tell you: Save your arrogant pity for the poor village mob. We’re not uncool just because we want our children and ourselves to have some rest. And you don’t have to pronounce the word “Dorfmutti” with lips curled in disgust. Let’s just benefit from each other. If you need some rest, you are welcome to come over. Maybe it smells like cow dung. And yes, the journey is long. But not only children discover treasures here that they can keep. That’s why we like to come by when we long for earlier. For the smell of hot asphalt, the hustle and bustle, the noises, the cafés, the many possibilities and you.