There are several theories on how to make a relationship work. But mindfulness might just be the answer to making a couple last.
Science says so. Communicate, upset the routine, stimulate sexuality… When it comes to couples and methods to try to make them last, there is a lot of advice that can be given. However, it is rarer to hear talk of “mindfulness”, that is to say meditation, for maintain a relationship. It is probably for this reason that two psychology researchers from the University of Edinburgh in Scotland became interested in the practice of mindfulness in couples and its effects on attachment. In this study published last November in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships and picked up by Marie Clairethe researchers analyzed a sample of 100 couples (87 heterosexual, 9 lesbian, 1 homosexual, 3 non-binary).
They were able to highlight that “the increase in a person’s general mindfulness directly predicts a relative decrease in their own attachment anxiety”. This type of attachment is generally associated with a fear of abandonment and a constant need for reassurance. According to this same study, mindfulness practiced as a couple could reduce avoidant attachmentnamely the one who pushes to avoid any type of commitment for fear of suffering.
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Mindfulness to develop empathy
According to the researchers, if mindfulness allows these results, it is because it allows “to increase empathy and understanding of the partner’s thoughts, feelings and actions”. Mindfulness is a form of meditation that encourages focus on the present moment and on all the sensations felt during an experience. According to’association for the development of Mindfulness (mindfulness in English), it helps to “training your attention” and allows to “live fully, being more present and more aware”. Mindfulness should help us develop a more peaceful relationship with ourselves and others. Meditating as a couple could thus help to better understand each other.