She does not feel like having sex anymore. Therefore, this 48-year-old teacher wants to share her husband. A very unconventional idea.
Actually, Margit Schlichting * finds it completely normal that after almost three decades of love, after several thousand times of sex, after countless cuddle rounds erotic simply ran out of breath. That she still loves her son Achim, but she does not feel like going to bed with him anymore.
Which of course has to do with the multitude of their years together and the resulting over-familiarity, but also with the fact that their very personal sexual “reservoir” has exhausted with almost 50.
“I do not feel like having sex anymore, neither with Achim nor with other men, it’s just over.”
She is quite sure.
Margit Schlichting is an attractive woman, very feminine, one who still looks after men. But what you call a hot bitch, she has never been.
“Sex just does not matter to me,” she says, “I’ve never understood this hype.”
The sex mottled over the years
Sure, when she met Achim 28 years ago at the beginning of her studies, there was this biological hormone and Endorphinrausch, as they collapsed when the light went out.
“But then life came in between us.” The everyday. They had two children, both were fully in the professional life, he as a forwarding agent, she as a teacher, sex muffled, at least with her.
In the evening, after a long day, she simply had nothing left in her mind, began his “perseverance” to exhaust her, but they were only in their early thirties, an age that Margit Schlichting found herself not yet sexually adopting could.
Actually, says Margit, that’s the time when everyone experiences their sexual climax, where from each billboard semi-naked models to the 30 exuberant at Bacardi slurping or smoking West glittering lust for life. “Was I really the only one with those terrible” Okay, then stop, but do not wake me up ‘numbers? “
Achim did not notice for a long time
Since it brings many wives in feigned orgasm to the true mastery, Achim probably did not realize for a long time, how little enthusiasm his wife was in the matter. Maybe he just did not want to notice anything.
They never talked about it, just because everything else seemed to fit in with their marriage. “I love my husband, we have a good time together,” says Margit Schlichting, “we go to the cinema, often have guests, and since our children are out of the house, we have brought out our hiking boots again.”
But then, just on the romantic weekend on Rügen, with which Achim surprised her on her 45th birthday, she suddenly sensed that she could no longer fool herself. He lay already in bed expectantly, she looked at the Baltic Sea and was deeply shocked how abysmal her idea was to have sexwith him now . “Achim had ordered champagne in the room, I quickly tipped down two glasses, then two mini-bottles of liquor from the minibar, then it went somehow,” says Margit Schlichting.
She knew: It’s over, forever
It’s over, she knew the next morning, as she stood with her head hungry in front of the bathroom mirror and just felt terrible, my desire is exhausted. Forever. Sad and frightened, she looked at her husband, who was snoring in the morning, unsuspecting.
What does one do as a woman when the pleasure is gone, but the man should stay? Especially if the sex drive has become stronger with him over the years?
What should happen?
In many marriages, the erotic needs are unbalanced, one more lust than the other, talked about it rarely.
When Margit was examined by her gynecologist for organic disorders and inquired about a sexual enhancer for women, he laughed only: “If I had that, I would be a billionaire. Like you are the most married women, at some point, the desire is over. Unfortunately, you can not do anything. “
Unable to come up with a solution, she tried to encapsulate her problem by getting into bed first and pretending to be asleep when Achim got there.
But then she felt his frustration through the blanket and could not sleep at all. Constantly the feeling of disappointing the man she loved was hard to bear. In addition, he was often unbearable when he felt he was “sexually under-utilized,” as he called it.
But when she “got up” to, she hoped, have her rest for the first time, the opposite happened. “See, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he was pleased then, “a small stop to compliment, so we do not get out of practice?” Then she could have screamed.
In order not to “bring him to stupid thoughts,” she avoided any physical touch, almost petrified when he wanted to kiss her in greeting. She always liked to touch him but did not want to wake sleeping dogs now. Her marriage increasingly felt like a straitjacket. Frustration number or Frustmann, was that really the only possible alternative?
Should she allow him to go into the puff?
Margit suggested a couple therapy, Achim was strictly against it because he considers sexuality to be the most natural thing in the world, this “And then I said, and then you felt” gossiping would be completely pointless. And because she knew in the depth of her heart that her lust was beyond revival, she did not insist. So the silence deepened between them, the ditch got bigger, they talked about divorce.
It was clear that something had to happen. But what?
“For a very short time I thought about whether I should not allow Achim to go into the puff regularly”, says Margit Schlichting, “but first of all we find both of them a bit unappetizing, secondly it is too expensive in the long term.”
One morning Margit leafed through the contact section of her local paper, where she caught the line “Wife looking for man for a few hours.”
Pretty naughty, she thought, and then: “THAT is the idea!” Without further thought, she gave online the message “Husband is looking for woman for a few hours, independently, but bound, 40-45 years old, in the Hanover area” on.
He thought it was nonsense first
She put it on the breakfast plate printed next Saturday. Whereupon he freaked out, “What’s the nonsense? Want to get rid of me?” Screamed and for days did not talk to her. “It could not get any worse between us,” says Margit Schlichting.
Therefore, she sorted out the first e-mail momentum of a total of 136 answers alone. And on the one hand was fascinated how open these women their erotic preferences (“like it hard and often, hope you have the right instrument to do it”) entrusted to a complete stranger, on the other hand, she felt completely confused by this woman’s powers. Against this clenched, uncomplicated pleasure, she felt like a small, ugly prune.
“She must not be too young and too pretty, not too funny and intelling.”
Why can not I be as straightforward as these women? She quarreled with herself and made a very last attempt to eradicate her marriage erotically.
She bought hot lingerie, anointed herself with fragrant oils, stood in the evening in front of the mirror and said to herself: “You feel like sex is good for you, Achim is a hot guy, the appetite comes with food!”
But it did not help. She lay beneath him, feeling infinitely lonely and just thinking: hopefully it’s over soon, so I can finally fall asleep.
At some point Achim said afterwards: “You were right with the ad, I finally need a woman who does not think about her underwear during sex.”
A sentence that hit Margit Schlichting so deeply that she began to cry. Because she knew she needed to give him exactly what she was most scared of in spite of everything. She needed to get her possession and jealousy under control.
She picked out the lover
If I did not feel like hiking, I would let him go with others, she tried to neutralize her emotional chaos, basically it’s just that I can not give him something he wants, and that’s why must allow to find it elsewhere. It was tough, but it was her only chance. Despite everything, it was love.
“Okay,” Margit said after a few sleepless nights, “but I’ll pick her.”
And spent the next few days searching for the ideal lover for Achim. Although her selection criteria were a bit schizophrenic, of course, because she only wanted to give up part of her husband, not risk her marriage.
Therefore his second wife was not allowed to be too young and pretty, not too funny and intelligent. After much searching, she introduced him to Liora, 68, “full of fun for everyone,” whereupon he laughed and immersed himself in the offers.
For the first time she was excluded
When he picked up the phone after three hours and sent her away, when he went to his first date two days later, came home at three o’clock in the morning and immediately fell asleep after the words “no questions”, of course that was a fucking feeling.
She did not know what hurt her more: that he slept with another woman, or that for the first time after 28 years, he excluded her from anything.
Once a week he was on his way, and when Margit drilled, he just said, “I’m just spooning out the soup you screwed me in,” and he left it …
Now the time had come: she shared her husband
After three months, she was so tender that she wavered only between howling and irritation. At least she knew by now that he did not meet with a whole harem, but only with a woman named Susanne.
“I want to meet her,” she finally said, “but alone, without you.”
When she saw the other, she felt better
When she reached for the phone, her hands were soaking wet, but the sympathetic voice on the other end gave her courage. They arranged to meet in a hotel bar, and when she came in, Margit felt a little better. Because she’s four years older, chubby, and shorter than she is?
Yes, that’s exactly why. And because she has been married to a much older man, a diabetic, for 15 years, who is impotent and has no idea about Achim.
And because, despite the unusual circumstances, there was immediate sympathy. They talked until dawn, talking about the man they would share in the future.
Margit did not care about erotic details, but she needed the assurance that Susanne had no intention of divorce. “Do not worry,” she said, “I only need your husband for bed, for everything else I have my own.”
The menage à trois of Achim, Margit and Susanne have been around for almost a year now. Everyone says it’s the best second best solution for them. Margit has to live with the fear that Susanne’s husband will die or that Achim will fall in love with her after having become a child of 30 years. But right now everything is fine.