That the Swedes are considered superparents may be due to a little romanticization of Bullerbü. But it's also a bit true. Because certain values and ideas that are particularly important in Sweden simply do children good. Your parents, too, by the way.
The two Swedes Agnes Wold and Cecilia Chrapkowski have written a book about the Swedish way of getting through childhood happily with the offspring. Since the book is only available in Italian, we have translated the best tips that have been summarized for Huffingtonpost Italia.
1. Make a contract with your partner that says: We share all challenges. From the beginning.
Whoever gets in later is at a disadvantage. To think that the child's dad can really get on later is a milkmaid's bill. The father of the child should feel co-responsible already during pregnancy, "because the imbalance usually remains after birth," the authors write.
2. Don't buy unnecessary stuff
"A newborn doesn't need much," says the book. The advice of the Swedes: Resist all temptations and get to know the little person first. You can already tell what you need. Most parents plunge into excessive expenses. There is nothing left to go shopping again. Too bad. And unnecessary.
3. Make yourself clear when children cost how much money
Also not a bad idea: make a cost statement beforehand about how much money is needed for the children or the children. That calms you down and lets you make good provision. Yes, a little protection also makes you relaxed and happy.
4. Don't listen to unsolicited advice
After the birth of a child, you quickly feel like the most incompetent person on earth. Everyone has other clever tips and advice. If you haven't actively asked for it, ignore it. You are the parents. You have the instinct that is needed to raise your child. If this instinct tells you that you need advice and help: Great. Then bring it on. Any unintended, well-meaning advice: Hell!
5. Be prepared that the birth of a child is not only happy but also sad
Even if everyone only ever speaks of this incredibly happy moment after birth: Most mothers start their motherhood with a violent crisis. They are disappointed with how the birth went, have to chew on self-doubt, miss their old lives and suffer from a real hormone overload. No, birth is not a cardboard handle. And that's normal.
6. Make it clear from the start that your child's diet is not a topic for discussion with third parties
Breastfeeding, yes or no? Add bottle, yes or no? When to feed porridge? Hipp, Alete or home-cooked. The nutrition of your child (and yours too, by the way) is entirely yours. Don't even start discussing this with third parties. That makes you unhappy. Certainly.
7. Split up the nights.
If only one person strikes the night, neither of them will be happy. Who is responsible when and how, has to find out the couple individually, but breastfeeding is no argument to shift all night work to the mother. Sometimes babies just don't feel like sleeping, or they have a stomachache. Then it's dad's turn. Even in your own interest (see point 1).
8. Ask for help if you feel like you're going nuts
Children are great, babies are super cute, but they all have superpower: they can push their parents to their personal limits and sometimes beyond. That is when you have to take care of yourself. And if you have to put the baby alone in bed crying for a moment to take a breath, it won't die of it. In such moments it helps to get support. The question "Can you take a stroller to the park for half an hour?" is sometimes the solution to the problem.