Kalynn Knaub has always been noticed: Even in her childhood she was never perceived as "small" because she was always broader than any other child. The people around her kept making comments about their body size. She got used to it in a way, after all she liked to eat – but when Kalynn finally went to college, her eating habits got out of hand.
My swimsuit for the swimming team always had to be ordered separately. It was terrible.
You have a pretty face, but …
During the nightly timpani she easily ate a pack of cookies, a pizza and a pasta box. She found comfort in the binge eating – at the same time, she took the many comments on her appearance very much to heart, as she says on "lovewhatmatters": "I was constantly told that I was pretty for a fat girl, or that I had a pretty face but was even more beautiful if I would lose weight. "
Kalynn eventually realized that either way she was only perceived as "the fat girl" and started to use the label like a label: she made fun of it even though it secretly hurt her. She wanted her surroundings to perceive her for her personality and not for her weight.
There was never a second date
But she couldn't close her eyes. Every time she bought new clothes, she needed a bigger size. A young man she met online on a dating site said to her at the first meeting that he would never have met her if he had known how fat she was. Kalynn fell into a deep hole: she didn't go out anymore, didn't want to see her friends anymore and just crawled away at home. Countless unsuccessful diet attempts and aborted sports courses also depressed her.
I wanted to hide – from myself and from everyone else.
When she finally weighed almost 130 kilos – with a height of only 1.56 meters – Kalynn started to find out about possible surgical methods – and decided on the so-called tubular stomach. With the procedure, doctors remove a large part of the stomach – in Kalynn's case this was 75 percent – so that it has a much smaller capacity. As a result, patients can only eat very small portions. She only shared her decision with her parents and closest friends.
Finally help or a big mistake?
On the day of the operation, she wondered if she was making the biggest mistake of her life, because in the last two weeks before the appointment, she had already had to follow a special diet consisting mainly of protein shakes and yoghurts, which she had hated . The operation itself went well, but Kalynn suffered great pain in the following days and constant nausea, through which she could only drink clear liquid. In addition, she got a post-operative allergic reaction with an itchy rash, which she got under control with medical help.
Meanwhile Kalynn has lost 44 kilos and is still working on her weight
Six weeks later Kalynn went back to work – she works as a nurse and feared the talk of her many colleagues. One said that the operation made it easy for Kalynn, which hurt her terribly. With the help of a confident friend, she realized that she couldn't care less what the others said: "Yes, I had an operation, but I still had to work hard on myself." Kalynn started preparing her meals at home, weighing her food, and writing down what she ate. In addition, she walked eight kilometers every day.
44 kilos are already gone
As the pounds tumbled, she began to stand openly to the operation and is now proud that she went through the procedure. In the meantime, Kalynn has lost 44 kilos and finally regained her self-confidence: "I would never have dared to dream of the person I became. She is someone I thought would never exist." And she wants to encourage others with her story and therefore shares it on Instagram. Kalynn's advice: Everyone has the opportunity to change their lives. It's tough and maybe not everyone agrees with your decisions, but it's worth it – because it's about you.