In her book “The Price to Pay”, journalist Lucile Quillet tackles the issue of money within heterosexual couples. She reveals that the injunctions made to women are responsible for their impoverishment.
How much does it cost to make yourself “beautiful” according to heterosexual and patriarchal criteria? At least 20,000 euros, ie the price that an average woman pays for hair removal costs during her lifetime. This is one of the striking figures that can be found in The price to pay by Lucile Quillet published on October 6, 2021. Add to that the purchase of make-up and clothes, the subscription to the gym, part-time careers to take care of the children and of course, the contraceptive load before or after the family founded.
Without trying to judge women, Lucile Quillet tries instead to show how the intersection between professional and personal life has a higher cost for women. “I have noticed that when women talk about economic inequalities, their words are discredited by saying that it is their sensitivity, that they are too ‘hysterical’. Under cover of the fact that it would be private, we do not listen to them. I told myself that talking about money was ultimately a good excuse to talk about a language that everyone understands: numbers“, she explains to the Huffington Post.
The blow of the straight couple … and the breakup
This very unequal phenomenon is the product of an idealization of the heterosexual couple, according to the author. Women are expected to make themselves beautiful in order to seduce a man with whom they can maintain an exclusive relationship, start a family and take care of his children. However, this pattern of life has a cost – economic and emotional – that women mostly bear. Because it is also necessary to take into account the unpaid domestic tasks that they take care of in most cases. It is about time and energy that they could invest elsewhere and which facilitate the professional rise, but also the development of their spouse.
If women are disadvantaged economically within the heterosexual couple, they are even more so during a break-up or a divorce. “In 75% of decisions, mothers have custody of the children. These are also additional costs, because when we have an average alimony of 170 euros per month per child, that does not cover the costs of the latter and the opportunity cost linked to childcare “, specifies Lucile Quillet to NEON.
The solution offered by his book is clear: we must break the taboo of money within the couple. That women have the deep will to start a family with a man is not bad in itself, but it is important that they do not make themselves poorer by doing so. Talking about money is not a killer. However, by dint of considering it as such, economic inequalities will be maintained within the private space. One question remains, however: is it also up to women to take charge of this discussion?