There are thoughts that we just can't get rid of. For hours we play through certain (past or future, mostly unpleasant) situations in all conceivable facets – only in order to get tangled up in the "could-should" instead of coming to a result.
Sometimes it's a concrete problem. Sometimes we are afraid of something that lies ahead. Sometimes we have a lump in the brain and sometimes it's just a bad habit to spoil the day with negative thoughts and worries.
Either way, we should try to stop this carousel of thoughts. Because the feeling of losing control of your thoughts not only blocks us for all the positive things in life, but in the worst case can also lead to depression or an anxiety disorder.
Where the hell is the stop button in the brain?
An experiment: think of a white bear. Now stop it. Well, is the picture of the bear out of your head?
Most likely not. Because when we try to suppress a certain thought, it usually backfires. To get rid of the white bear, we need to regain control of our thoughts. How it works, psychotherapist Jennice Vilhauer explained in Psychology Today.
1. Do what is good for you
Negative thoughts trigger negative feelings in us: Those who are worried become anxious. But our behavior also influences our feelings. So when we do something that we like – be it a jogging session, yoga, the favorite movie on the couch or a meeting with our best friend – our mood also brightens up. And with a good mood we can think more clearly and look at things from a different perspective. In addition, the favorite activity distracts us from our worries.
2. Write down what speaks against your worst fears
We are masters at imagining horror scenarios. But in most cases, our worries ended up being unfounded because none of them happened. Why? Because most of our what-if pondering is pretty unrealistic. Instead of pondering what could go wrong, we should concentrate on our reason. Because it reminds us pretty quickly that our fears are irrational.
3. Write down why you will survive the worst case yourself
In short: shit happens. And everyone, again and again. Still, we like to think that if Case X arrives, the world will end, or at least we'll be unhappy forever. But honestly: How often have things gone stupid in your life? And how long did it take you to recover from it? It is not uncommon for us to emerge from difficult situations even stronger! Our brain is amazingly adaptable. With the right attitude, we can deal with just about any crisis. Instead of bathing in misery, we should focus on our strengths and recall all the difficult moments that we have mastered in the course of our lives.
4. Ask yourself the right questions
To stop the carousel of thoughts and get closer to solving the problem, you can ask yourself the following questions:
What does this situation mean for me? – Be clear about what effects a particular situation could really have for you. Much of what concerns us now has no impact on our future lives.
What I want? – Be clear about what your goal is. Then you will find a solution more easily.
What can I do to achieve my goal? – Be clear about what specific measures you can take to get a problem out of the way. This reduces your fears and gets you out of brooding.
What if nothing helps?
Thoughts are just thoughts! Just because we think something does not mean that it will come true. You don't have to put every thought into practice. Watch your thoughts and just let the negative ones go by.