"Relax!", "You are like your mother" or "do you actually listen to yourself?" – These statements come easily from the lips, but nobody has won a discussion with them. With these sentences already:
We like to enforce our stubbornness – our ideas / conceptions / assumptions are usually the better ones, right? But often you are simply talked against the wall and even your best killing arguments are nullified. In the end you just shout at each other, old accusations are warmed up and a fly is turned into an elephant. What was it all about again? Ah yes, to put in the dishwasher. Great! The end of the story: two insulted liver sausages and no common denominator. It works better with these sentences.
"You're right!"
I beg your pardon what? The last thing we want in a discussion is to agree with the other. But: Many people don't actually want to discuss, they just want to get right. For this reason, the three simple words take the wind out of the sails of the other and we can start again. Suddenly the ears of the other person are pricked up again, so that we can show our side step by step. And most of the time the other suddenly agrees too.
"I understand how you feel"
The discussion has come to a point where the real issue is no longer at all. The rational half of the brain has said goodbye and the emotions take over. Very bad base and very thin ice on which we are currently moving. In order to avoid an emotional volcanic eruption (and yes, it will come sooner or later), we pick the person up emotionally with the following sentence: "I understand how you feel". Anyone who understands the feelings of the other and is committed to them can then easily steer the discussion back to the actual topic.
"Stop! We're not getting any further here"
The discussion is hopeless and we realize that we are running out of arguments. Oh oh! We know each other: When that happens, we quickly lose our composure and then we freak out tremendously. Not a good idea, otherwise there will be words that we should have kept to ourselves. Smarter tactics: Postpone the discussion (and come up with a new battle plan in the meantime). By then, the impulsive situation has eased again and we can calmly lay out our arguments. And if you don't have any more, we'll show you here how to fight successfully – without any arguments.