No one could have missed Marie Cau, who on March 15 became the first transgender mayor elected in France. Media coverage that highlights transgender people who most often live in the shadow of a society divided between open thinking and regression. An observation that Marie Cau reveals to us.
Small village of 530 souls, Tilloy-lez-Marchiennes, in the North, has a new elected official, Marie Cau, 55 years. Born man, she is, since March 15, the first transgender mayor in France. "People mobilized on major directions, on a unifying discourse. I made up a mixed gender team with different generations to create a membership. The words: competence and benevolence sum up our orientation. Nothing was related to me, I was just a catalyst for a desire in the village to make things happen. What I was was secondary", explains Marie Cau, on the phone.
The mayor, who insists that her number one objective is to work so that her village is a place where life is good, does not hide the fact that this election is putting the spotlight on transgender people. "I do not want to be an activist, but now as an individual it is always nice to hear that you are someone very good when you have been hiding your whole life. It puts balm in the heart. I don't want to be selfish and not carry a message", she admits."I will take advantage of my situation to transmit positive messages. Many people have contacted me saying "We can have a normal life", adds Marie Cau. The elected representative even tells us that she discovered other transgender people in the vicinity of her village, who turned out to be. However, some still hide and suffer in silence, especially the young. "For them, I appeared as a ray of hope"
A discreet life
"Before this promotion, I was a discreet person, I lived my life as a transgender, she was compartmentalized, but it was not a secret"says the Northerner."The villages have a certain mentality. People are as they are. They worry more about the rooster that makes noise or the hedges that are poorly trimmed. They have pragmatic considerations.", she adds.
A computer engineer with a background in agriculture, Marie lived in interrogation until the age of 40. "Then I revealed myself," she tells us. Since her childhood, the mayor of Tilloy-lez-Marchiennes felt that something was wrong: "When I was two, I dressed as a little girl for the first time, according to my mother. Afterwards, I was told that it was not done. My parents took this step for a breeze. So I kept this desire for myself, without really knowing what it was all about."Life then makes its way, she gets married and starts a family, three children fill her happiness. When she announces her decision to assume her identity of Marie, her ex-wife divorces, not accepting the situation. Her children, who are "sacred" to her, understand and live with her. "I fought for this link against all odds", says Marie Cau, in a firm voice.
"Society kept us in shame"
Years have passed since "his revelation". The company no longer looks like what it has seen. "15-20 years ago, we were considered mentally ill, it was psychiatric, the speech was very hard to hear. Society kept us in shame", says Marie Cau. According to the elected official,"gradually the vocabulary to evolve, the perception of things to change. Today, we have the power to be what we really are. In the past, being transgender was always linked to a sexual side, while this is a problem of identity. In the collective mentality, a transgender person had a psychiatric concern to treat or prostituted himself"It also confirms to us that the medical profession has evolved,"there is tolerance nowadays, before, doctors abrogated the right to say your identity ". But Marie Cau does not hide that the journey is not easy, because it must always be followed by all a team (psychiatrist, endocrinologist, doctor, etc.).
A France cut in two and double discrimination
Regarding the acceptance of transidentity by society, Marie Cau has a point of view on the question: "it all depends on the socio-professional environment, generally the young people are more open, they have gay lesbian or trans friends in their environment. But in other areas like the suburbs where there are fundamentals, it is very complicated. ". There would therefore be two contrasting fringes in the population. Another serious problem should not be overlooked. "Transgender women have multiple challenges: being transgender and being female", notes the mayor."Women are a sex object for men, for transgender people, it’s worse. We are a real fantasy. We have a problem very close to feminism, but at the same time, we see emerging among feminists a rejection of transgender women, which is paradoxical"she tells us."One might think that things are going in the same direction (compared to our places in society) but there is a section of feminists who openly become transphobic. It is a trend that comes from the United States and is spreading in Europe with the Conservatives. It’s quite surprising".
This data worries Marie Cau, but it is reassuring and finally gives us two messages that she wants to share with transgender people like her. "If your environment is hostile, go! This atmosphere can be destructive. We are talking about assaults and suicides. Conversely, if you live in a peaceful environment, speak. Be yourself. Do not be afraid. In the end, people are kind. We always talk about what is going wrong, but the majority of the people I meet are open. There is awkwardness, yes, but not wickedness. You have to behave naturally with others, and we will accept you", concludes the first transgender mayor.