narcissism
Its positive and negative sides
A narcissistic personality can lie dormant not only in men.
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Is there a little narcissism lurking in all of us? Personality psychologist Mitja Back explains in an interview.
Most people initially associate narcissism with something negative. That’s not necessarily wrong. They are considered particularly self-centered and strive for social admiration. Narcissism often causes major problems in relationships, but can be an advantage professionally. “How positively or negatively narcissism works always has to do with the other characteristics that narcissists have and the context in which they find themselves,” reveals Mitja Back, personality psychologist and author of “I! The Power of Narcissism” (Kösel Verlag). In an interview with the news agency spot on news, he talks about the strengths and weaknesses of narcissists.
What exactly is meant by narcissism?
Mitja Back: Narcissism is not a disease, but a personality trait that is more or less pronounced in all of us. Narcissism can be identified primarily in three building blocks: grandiosity, a sense of entitlement and striving for social admiration. Narcissists are people who believe more than most that they are special, that they deserve more than others, and that they want to be admired by other people.
Do men or women behave narcissistically more often?
Back: Even though we usually notice men more when it comes to narcissism, on average men are only a bit more narcissistic. And the way in which narcissism is lived out differs only slightly: on average, men are more likely to strive for admiration in their careers and show their narcissistic elbows a little more openly when things aren’t going so well. Women are somewhat more likely to be admired for their unique selflessness and looks and are somewhat more subtle in their narcissistic aggressiveness. But the differences are small. Gender generally tells us very little about a person’s narcissism: within all genders we find the entire range from very slightly to very strongly narcissistic and all possible ways of living out narcissism.
What are the most common causes of narcissism?
Back: Narcissism, like most personality traits, is influenced both genetically and by environmental experiences. Existing studies suggest that at least 50 percent of differences in narcissism are genetically anchored – an important fact that is often overlooked. As far as environmental experiences are concerned, when it comes to narcissism, surprisingly, we talk almost exclusively about parental upbringing, usually linked to the old psychoanalytic idea that a cold or even traumatizing upbringing leads to narcissism because it creates an inner weakness and emptiness in the child, which then has to be covered up by a narcissistic theater. There is little scientific evidence to support this popular “mask myth”. Cold parenting is unlikely to lead to narcissism. If anything, narcissism is encouraged when parents praise their child excessively. Even more important, however, is that parental education doesn’t play that big of a role overall! The influence of parents runs primarily through genetics. Other environmental experiences should be given much greater attention if we want to understand the development of narcissism, for example experiences in kindergarten and school, among friends, in romantic relationships and at work.
What strengths and weaknesses do narcissists have?
Back: The special thing about narcissism is the power associated with it. This irrepressible energy with which narcissists achieve many things – for better or for worse. Narcissists are able to create and destroy like no other people. They show charm, self-confidence and initiative when getting to know each other. This is how they break the ice and create enthusiasm among dates, friends, HR managers, employees and voters. They also bring excitement and excitement to relationships. Narcissists usually have high goals, are optimistic, have self-confidence and are assertive, even when there is resistance. This means they can make personal progress more quickly, but can also help teams and companies advance. They like new things and are more willing to take risks, which means they innovate more often. However, narcissists also cause a lot of problems in relationships, especially in the long term, through their selfish behavior and their aggressive way of reacting to criticism. As leaders, they often risk too much, allow too few alternative opinions and can create a lot of pressure and stress through their excessively high expectations and harsh way of expressing criticism. How positive or negative narcissism works always has to do with the other characteristics that narcissists have and the context in which they find themselves. For example, intelligent narcissists with moral goals shared by many people can achieve better things than those who fuel conflicts between groups with half-baked ideas. And narcissism brings more when there is a willingness to take risks and changes and less when it is important to secure and stabilize.
Can you behave narcissistically from time to time without immediately being considered a narcissist?
Back: We all behave narcissistically from time to time. We are a narcissist if we do this much more often and more strongly than others. And even then, that doesn’t mean we’re a worse person. Narcissism is one of many human strategies for dealing with life’s challenges. And like any life strategy, it has advantages and disadvantages.