Psychologist reveals
4 strategies to protect yourself – when you are very vulnerable
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We all sometimes have days when even the smallest drop can bring the barrel to overflow. But then how can we protect ourselves from exactly that happening? We talked about it with a psychologist.
Whether it's the anniversary of the death of a loved one, a period when we personally have to deal with bad news, or a time when we just don't feel so resilient without knowing the reason for it – we don't all have these episodes at times in our lives where we would like to hide and hide from the world? In which we are almost afraid that someone will want something from us, look askance or criticize? At times like this, it can be quite a problem that the world keeps turning – and we are expected to function as usual. In the worst case, we end up in a vicious circle: If we don't perform as well as usual and suddenly feel overwhelmed by tasks that we can usually handle well, we usually put additional pressure on ourselves, are disappointed with ourselves, and feel doubly helpless – and the situation will only get worse.
Especially now in lockdown, as many people work from home, colleagues, for example, have little chance of noticing when a person on the team is not doing well. And right now in lockdown, as many people feel particularly lonely, particularly helpless, particularly locked in, the danger is extremely high of slipping into such a highly sensitive phase of life.
We therefore turned to a psychologist (also out of personal interest) and asked him if he could give us tips on how we can protect ourselves when we are feeling very vulnerable and vulnerable. Under the pseudonym Max, he answers questions about family, relationships, friendship, sexuality and work on his website Hallo-Max. He suggested the following strategies for our problem – and we can anticipate this: According to him, it is apparently not only legitimate, but also emotionally intelligent and appropriate to wrap ourselves in cotton wool in particularly vulnerable phases …
Psychologist reveals 4 tips on how you can protect yourself if you are particularly vulnerable
1. The "cellphone-off principle"
In phases of withdrawal, many people feel that they are withdrawn. This also means that you are less flexible in thinking and acting. Specifically, this means: Even an unannounced phone call can be a real overwhelming challenge. The solution: Create an inconspicuous wall around you so that you can keep others at a distance during this phase.
One possibility: cell phone off, mailbox on. This gives you the opportunity to decide for yourself when you are ready to receive new information and listen to the mailbox for it. Another advantage: You can listen to messages in a relaxed manner – because you know that there are no spontaneous questions that you are not prepared for. Small talk, which can often be exhausting in times of personal retreat, is also eliminated. And the best thing about the "cell phone off" principle? You usually don't have to call back, you can simply answer by email.
2. The "submerge strategy"
Do like the kids at school, if they don't want to be called by the teacher and therefore avoid eye contact as much as possible: Be inconspicuous – because this way you can protect yourself from tasks that arise. This also includes: Refrain from starting discussions and postpone suggestions for new projects.
3. The "postponement" solution
If you don't feel completely fit, you need significantly longer for tasks. Therefore: What you can get tomorrow, postpone that too – and do these things when you feel better. This way you can take the pressure off the current situation and give yourself the time you need. Use the hours you gain to close your laptop a little earlier and do something good for yourself – for example, an extensive relaxation bath or cook something tasty.
4. The "little helpers network"
The good thing about phases of withdrawal is that there are only phases – and things will go uphill again. My tip is to make provisions for bad times in good times. In a work context, this means: when the times are good, try to relieve your colleagues of small tasks if you have the resources. Then, in bad times, you can come back to these coworkers and ask them to do the same for you.
Another option is to speak openly with a trusted colleague: You could tell her * him that everything is too much for you at the moment and ask him to help you with your workload.
Important: It should be said that these tips are for short sagging phases from one to two weeks are intended. If after this time you find that your mood has still not improved, you may want to consider additional help. Depending on the degree of stress, this can be a conversation with your doctor about sick leave, but an appointment with a psychologist, a psychotherapist or a counseling center often helps.