psychology
If you have these problems, you are a (little) control freak
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Are you not a control freak at all? Then you will certainly not know these problems …
Let’s be honest: who doesn’t like to have everything under control, please? Control gives us a feeling of security, independence and strength, of course we like it. The only problem: We cannot control a lot in our life and in this world. Be it because we do not have enough power, we lack the skills or the situation is simply too complex and unmanageable again. Therefore, it generally makes sense if we don’t get too fixated on this control thing and instead learn to accept that things are sometimes the way they are, for better or for worse. Perhaps we will then get around the following problems, for example …
If you have these problems, you may be a control freak
1. You hate trying something new.
Experiments and changes are not yours? Understandable, after all, you can never predict how it will turn out. On the one hand, of course, there is nothing against staying true to routines and sticking to what you know. If the Baltic Sea is beautiful – why get to know the North Sea? If caramel is delicious, why try salted caramel? The unknown is just spooky. On the other hand, experiments make life really interesting. And what if the North Sea is even more beautiful in the end …?
2. You cannot be angry.
Besides frowning and rolling your eyes, nothing works for you? Anger scares you because you can’t control yourself when you’re angry? On the one hand, of course, pleasant – especially for those around you! Who likes to be yelled at or deal with an angry person? On the other hand, just like any other emotion, anger has a purpose. For example, it shows us when someone comes too close to us and crosses a limit or which values are particularly important to us. In addition, people who suppress their anger often tend to compensate for their emotional grievances in other ways – for example through restrictive or auto-aggressive behavior. And then the question is whether they really have more control than with a small but subtle outburst of anger …
3. You are extremely impatient.
The subway will only come in 2 minutes? Are you sitting at the doctor’s and simply not being called? For control freaks, having to wait is one of the worst and most unbearable things there is. That you can’t somehow speed it up and are forced to spend your own time tied to a certain place … maddening! Unfortunately, that’s exactly why it doesn’t go any faster.
4. You find it difficult to trust.
You don’t rely on anyone but yourself? You can do it, but in the long run it makes life pretty exhausting and lonely. Admittedly, it is totally impractical that we cannot control other people – how beautiful and easy life would be if we could! On the other hand, for other people we are other people ourselves and to be controlled by them in turn would not be so cool anymore. We have no choice but to accept people as unpredictable entities and assume that they do the same with their freedom as we do – for example, try not to disappoint anyone who means something to them …
5. Addiction drives you crazy.
Filing an application with an uncertain outcome or having to apply means a life crisis for you? But it is also terrible when one’s own luck and fate is in the hands of strangers! But how do you know you’d make more correct decisions than them? Why are you sure that their decision is not good for you, or even better than the one you would make? Basically, it’s really nice every now and then to be able to or have to give up responsibility – after all, at least it’s not your fault.
6. You find it difficult to relax.
Just lie on the couch and do nothing you don’t pack? It could also be that your thoughts take an unexpected turn. Also, how would you put such a mess on a to-do list? Control freaks are tense most of their time because they have to hold strings in their hands all the time in order to feel meaningful and useful. It’s a shame, because in theory you could not only recharge your batteries, but also come up with really good ideas and enlightenment. But if you don’t want to try anything anyway, you might not need any ideas anyway …