Brooding at two at night
This is how one word frees you from the what-if spiral
© panitanphoto / Shutterstock
Who doesn’t know the brooding at two at night? Even during the day they can catch up with us, the spiral of thoughts – but there is a word that helps us in such moments.
The clock on the bedside table shows 02:48, the moon shines through the curtains, the houses are very quiet and your thoughts are loud. While your: e part-sleeper: in is snoring blissfully, you are sure that you criticized the boss’s idea too honestly at the presentation in the office today, that her raised eyebrow signaled your resignation and thus the end of your career, you will certainly tomorrow fired, kicked out the day after tomorrow and then surely left the day after tomorrow until you were finally sitting on the street. Quite, quite sure. And with this finding, sleep is no longer to be thought of, after all, your heart is beating wildly and maybe you should go to this cardiology practice to clarify it, but you missed the last appointment and you will feel safe there can never report again.
As peaceful as it sometimes seems, it can also be nasty: The night when our thoughts turn into brooding and chase us from one worst-case scenario to the next. For some, these moments of fear are reserved for the night, others also struggle with them during the day. Triggered by a cell phone that is off even though the person is actually always available or a delay that, coupled with sirens in the street noise in our head, turns into an accident of our loved ones.
Hand on heart: Sometimes our own psyche plays a trick on us. Once we’re trapped in one of these what-if mazes, we can’t find the way out of the catastrophic turn-offs. We think. In fact, there is a plan that shows us the way. It’s called “Keyword Controlled Relaxation” and promises it’s not as complicated as it sounds!
How does keyword-controlled relaxation work?
When worries and musings get out of hand, we often feel that we are losing control of them. To get it back, you only need two tools that you always have at hand: a word and your body.
In psychotherapy, the technique is used, for example, for anxiety disorders, but also stress diseases. It works in three simple steps:
- Pick a word that you associate with relaxation. This can be, for example, calm, arriving or letting go – but maybe you will also think of a very special term. Focus on your word.
- Now practice a breathing technique, for example the 4-7-8 method. You inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for seven seconds, and exhale calmly for eight seconds. As you exhale, focus on your word. Please close your eyes while doing this.
- Repeat this sequence several times in a row and at least once a day. The word should always be the same.
Please give me just a word
We turn the tables: Just as your psyche is playing a trick on you and entangling you in brooding, we trick you by influencing your body. With the calm breathing technique we signal to our organism that everything is in order. It then automatically switches from escape mode to sleep mode, allows the heartbeat to slow down and becomes calmer.
At the same time, we sort of condition ourselves: by focusing on a certain word while exhaling, our body learns to associate it with calm. If we then think of the term in moments of stress, we automatically signal our psyche to relax at some point. We regain control over our fears, which no longer seem so ghostly in daylight and calm breathing.
So after a while of practice, the word on its own will be enough to calm you down – and quickly steer your thoughts out of the what-if maze.