Silence becomes more and more strange to us. And when it is really quiet around us, we can hardly bear it. Why is that? Our author takes a closer look, very quietly, of course.
Radio in the car, television in the apartment, podcasts while going for a walk, telephoning over dinner: Silence has become so rare that we dread it when it's really quiet. Something has to be found quickly that breaks the silence.
Panic! It's way too quiet here.
While some of us like to be left alone, others are frightened not to hear any noise. Silence is actually very valuable to us. Nevertheless, we often try to avoid them, leave the television on on the side or the radio pounding on permanently. Especially in the city it is hardly possible to experience complete silence at all. Be it the noises of the neighbors, the street in front of the door, distant construction sites or simply the dull background noise of the big city. No wonder that many people then find sudden silence uncomfortable and threatening. At the same time, constant sound is not a solution. Especially since it was different. So why does silence make us so uncomfortable and what can we do about it?
Do you prefer to turn up rather than turn down?
It has become so much part of our lives that we hardly notice it anymore: if you turned on the television in the past to switch something off yourself, today something goes along with almost every activity. Netflix while exercising in the gym, music while jogging, cleaning and cooking or quickly checking Insta stories and co. We flood ourselves with audiovisual stimuli and, conversely, they are always available through smartphones and tablets. And then there is the oversupply of series, programs and various other entertainment formats that you somehow want to watch because they are exciting, but a whole day is not enough. But in other situations, too, some find it difficult to endure silence. For example, instead of letting out on trivial matters, one could simply walk side by side with friends or acquaintances instead of filling every minute with words. And this is one of the reasons why the quiet is so much more uncomfortable for many of us than the loud:
1. We are no longer used to quiet
We are seldom alone, there is plenty of distraction. You have to actively choose to stay silent. What comes over us, however, are lights, images, sounds, colors. We trained ourselves to keep ourselves busy and distracted. Instead of just sitting on the sofa and listening to our breath, you first have to tidy up the apartment, quickly write an email and finish the audio book. It is precisely this silence that contributes to further development. But meditation still has the reputation of being something for psychos or esos in many circles, although the positive effect of 10 minutes of inner contemplation a day has long been proven.
2. Silence is a taboo
You meet a distant friend on the bus and don't feel like small talk at all – a situation that each of us has probably experienced before. But instead of just saying that and spending the ride in silence, we feel obliged to talk, even when we have nothing more to say, just so that this uncomfortable silence does not occur. After all, when a person is calm, it signals that they are angry, disinterested, sad, or inattentive. Quiet often evokes feelings of loneliness and abandonment, but that's just the one perspective we have. When you look at it closely, one thing has little to do with the other.
3. We are afraid to deal with ourselves
Quiet, calm, and contemplation may be so frightening for some of us because it is at such moments that you have to get in touch with yourself. If this is associated with negative feelings, we usually try to avoid precisely that. Because negative feelings do not belong in our society any more than collective silence. We constantly strive to be happy and content. What nobody tells us, however, is that this condition is only a fraction of our lives and is not the status quo. We have far too many worries for that, too large parcels and too long to-do lists that slow us down in everyday life. But without them, being happy wouldn't be so easy either. After all, luck always needs an opponent so that we can appreciate it. In the end it means: If we come into contact with ourselves, endure both positive and negative, and not despair of it, but hope, we will grow. Because in the silence we learn to listen to our own voice again and it tells us where to go.
Sit and just listen …
Basically, that's exactly what we're supposed to do: Treat ourselves to moments of peace and just listen to ourselves. Practicing silence means connecting with fears and desires, healing wounds, rediscovering ourselves, gaining strength, accepting, letting go and realizing what we can and have already achieved. Because if everything else breaks away, we only have one thing left: our own. I am not quite sure whether each of us can really learn to love being alone, but it is worth a try.