As Christmas approaches, children have only one name in mind, that of Santa Claus. They are looking forward to it. But is it a good idea to keep this myth alive? At what age should we tell them the truth? And how ? Catherine Verdier, psychologist and founder of Psyfamille enlightens us.
“Dad, mom, does Santa really exist?“. This question, many parents dread as the end of the year holidays approach. And for good reason, around 6-7 years old some children begin to doubt the existence of the famous character with the long white beard, dressed in red and white, with a hood full of gifts. In general, it is at school that the belief in Santa Claus is demystified. The little comrades are quick to say all is well: “Santa Claus does not exist, Santa Claus does not exist!And for some toddlers who believed in it, it can come as a real shock. This is when parents can step in and help them see things more clearly.
While some parents choose to maintain the myth for a long time, others refuse to do so for fear of “lying” to their children. For them, Christmas is more of a commercial than a magical celebration. So is it a good idea to keep this myth alive? At what age should we tell them the truth? And how best to do it?
The child must be the only one to decide until when he wants to believe it
Our memories often dictate our behaviors, and the holidays we wish are similar to those we have had or those we would have wanted. It must also be recognized that rumors exist in schoolyards and… sometimes between brothers and sisters, cousins and cousins. Difficult to escape the revelation “Santa Claus, he doesn’t exist“when you are at” the big school. “There will always be another child to think about, perhaps just because he himself has been disappointed … The experts’ opinion is almost unanimous: if a limit has to be established, it would be around 8 years. But do not panic if the child continues to believe in it until the end of primary school: for these psychologists and psychiatrists, there is no need to worry. Entering elementary school marks the beginning of the transition to “the age of reason”. We want to believe in the stories of adults and less in the characters of his childhood. Obviously, relationships with older children will speed up revelations: the end of Santa Claus or the little mouse.
For psychologist Catherine Verdier, it is important tolisten to your child. “If the child has questions, first of all you have to know what he thinks about it. Does he think Santa Claus exists or not, and what makes him believe that? If he decides he exists, then he exists.“You have to know how to support him in his questioning, and not anticipate him. And if he still believes in it at 8 years old, it is because he needs it. The reasons can be multiple: he does not want to leave the world. from childhood, he is creative, he experiences something complicated and is attached to the reassuring image of Santa Claus… Finally, there is no real age to stop believing in Santa Claus. the personality of the child but also the environment in which he lives.
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Benefits for the child
Belief of myths in children strengthens their imagination. The sleigh, the reindeer, the elves … it makes them dream. This belief is also an element of sharing with the whole family and allows to develop a small ritual.
What if the child reacts badly to hearing the news?
In any case, it is important to give the child time to digest the news. You can also reassure him by reminding him that the magic of the holidays is not just about Santa Claus. There is the advent calendar, the tree, the decorations and especially the holiday meals with the family… Children can react differently when they learn that Santa Claus is just a myth. For them it is a feeling of betrayal or relief. It is important to remind him that the Christmas charm is not equated with Santa Claus. There are Advent calendars, trees, decorations, including holiday meals with the family and the joy of getting together …