We're really good at ignoring our needs. "How am I doing right now?" is a question we rarely ask ourselves because we have lost touch with ourselves. The flashlight method helps to find this feeling again.
Appointments, appointments, appointments: Whether at work, in the afternoon or on the weekend, there is usually something on our to-do list that we have to do. And then we have a moment to breathe deeply, we answer the various WhatsApp messages, read the emails that have accumulated over the day and are annoyed by all the stress we feel exposed to. But instead of taking a short moment and asking ourselves: "What do I need now?", We prefer to check Facebook, Insta and Co, read a few more messages, shop online and check out status messages to see what our friends are all about Tagged like this.
Have we forgotten how to be alone with ourselves?
"Yes!" says psychologist Friederike Gerstenberg to impuls.de. “If we have to wait a few minutes, we use the cell phone. There are no moments in which we can listen to ourselves and realize what we need. "
This, however, ensures that we are constantly energized and constantly tense. It is particularly important to pause to cope with everyday life in a more relaxed manner and to make better decisions. In order to regain a feeling for yourself and your own needs, Gerstenberg recommends a simple exercise: the flash.
How does the flash method work?
“Imagine your psyche is a dark room. So you have no idea what it looks like in there. And now you send a flashlight into this room. Then try to use three adjectives to pinpoint how you are feeling right now. If you do that, you will know relatively exactly how you are doing and what you need, ”says Gerstenberg.
Often it is quite banal needs that become visible and make us restless and nervous: tiredness, hunger, thirst. “Sometimes a minimal intervention is enough to make us feel better. For example, just take a sip before you leave. "
It is of course clear that we cannot always satisfy all needs. A two-hour nap on a normal working day is not really possible. A spontaneous break on a lonely island is also not. But at least on a small scale, we can very well begin to take more care of ourselves and take better care of ourselves.
Practice creates masters
It takes time for new habits to become established in our heads. Our brain is not the fastest when it comes to learning processes. But the more we practice the flash method, the easier it will be for us. The advantage: We don't need anything and we can practice it anywhere.
The flashlight method is best used when there are transitions during the day:
- from work to the end of the day
- from the desk to the important meeting
- Before work, it can also be incorporated into the morning routine so that you can start the day more consciously
Then when you are a master
Will you be able to assess your own capacities better and keep the stress level much lower by keeping in mind how you are doing: Isn't this job too much for me? What can I submit and which dates are really important or can I cancel something? True to the motto: Do less, but do better!