Before declaring themselves "as a couple", young people of the new generation go through the "pre-couple" phase. A phase of romantic reconciliation but without real commitment.
If you are used to watching reality TV, you may have heard this word before. "We are in a pre-couple with Greg from this evening", announced Maeva Ghennam of Marseillais Asian tour April 10, 2019. Popularized by reality TV, the concept of pre-couple designates the phase of rapprochement and seduction that precedes the romantic relationship. "We try, we see how it goes. It's a pre-couple, it's not a couple. That is to say that I will be attentive to you, that I will take you breakfast '”, summed up Greg.
What is the pre-couple, a concept popularized by reality TV?
According to Maeva, Greg and many other reality TV contestants, pre-dating is the stage of seduction that precedes a romantic relationship. Most of the time, the couple comes together when the two protagonists kiss in front of the cameras. For Nathalie Nadaud-Albertini, sociologist and author of 12 years of reality TV … beyond moral criticism questioned by us, it is not surprising to see this new language of love take hold when a group lives H-24 together. "It's a way of saying that such and such a person is interested in such a person, of warning others. It's sort of asking one option, without closing others ", she explains. It's hard not to see it as a well-established strategy to interest viewers. “There is of course a reason for scriptwriting interest. The contestants know full well that they are the characters in the story. So this is a way to put suspense on their character: maybe they'll go see someone else, maybe it'll create situations of jealousy, etc. ", decrypts the sociologist.
If the word pre-couple really originates with reality TV, the concept has been around for some time, especially on dating sites. "There is this idea that we are actively researching, we compare, we choose what suits us best, a bit like a consumer. Which is a little different from the imaginary one can have of the romantic romantic relationship when one imagines it love at first sight ", notes Nathalie Nadaud-Albertini.
From when are we in a relationship?
Although the phenomenon seems obvious to the stars of the small screen, it is a little less for some in everyday life. When can we consider ourselves to be “in a relationship”? "It raises the question of commitment and the definition of a couple and loyalty", says Nathalie Nadaud-Albertini. “In reality TV, contestants will consider themselves to be together from the first kiss. On dating sites, it's more complicated. It doesn't have to be the first kiss, or even sex. This is the moment when we are going to tell ourselves and to each other that we are in a relationship ", specifies the sociologist.
The term pre-couple, a sort of "trial period" before entering the big stage of the couple, is specific to contemporary individualism, according to the expert: “Before, we were a couple when we were engaged. From the 1960s, the individual gained autonomy. But this freedom has a counterpart: you have to invent everything yourself, including your couple, which generates a heavy responsibility. Today, there are other forms of love considered, it is up to the people themselves to define their path, their agreement by mutual agreement ". The pre-couple shows more about society and new romantic relationships than he lets on. To avoid disappointments or misunderstandings, it is better to clearly state your expectations to the other, in order to validate together that you are on the same wavelength. It'll save you the classic "But we weren't really together! " in the absence of real formalization.