Feelings of guilt are depressing, burden us – and for most of us they are probably more topical than ever. How do I deal with it if I have infected someone with Corona? We have the answers.
The global corona pandemic brings new challenges every day. But not all of them have to be visible: Many people struggle with inner feelings of guilt, with questions like: "What if I unintentionally infect someone with COVID-19?" We spoke to a trained psychologist who on his website www.hallo-max.de under the pseudonym "Max" answers questions, gives advice and tries to solve problems for his readers.
How do feelings of guilt arise?
In order to be able to talk about feelings of guilt that arise in connection with Corona, we first wanted to know where they come from, these depressing feelings that can bother us so much. Max refers to the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud: He defined the so-called "super-ego", which includes "among other things, norms, commandments or prohibitions according to which we and the people around us orient our lives", according to Max one's own actions against the super-ego trigger feelings of guilt. It is important that they can be not only conscious but also unconscious.
Nobody wants to risk infection on purpose
But how can we deal with feelings of guilt that may arise in us when we have infected another person? Many of us then make a headache – especially if the infected person is someone from a risk group. Because especially then, a corona disease can have far-reaching consequences that are often not foreseeable.
I think it is wrong to speak of guilt here. It is more of an unfortunate circumstance
The very thought of it burdens many of us, after all, we often don't want any harm. Max also assumes that no one wants to deliberately infect another person with COVID-19: "Due to the unclear risk of the individual transmission routes and the fact that the virus is still largely unexplored, I think it is wrong to speak of guilt here. Rather, it is a matter of unfortunate circumstances that lead to a transmission that was not intended by anyone – comparable to an accident. "
Guilt is a subjective feeling
Max points out that it is difficult to judge from the outside whether feelings of guilt are justified or not – and especially in the specific case of a disease transmission, many factors play a role in the situation: "Have I followed the hygiene rules? Have close contacts of mine might not have followed the hygiene rules so closely without telling me? "
The feeling of guilt of a single person is very subjective, so Max. And outsiders in particular often tend to ask the question of guilt – even though they do not know the exact circumstances of the respective situation at all.
Realize what has been done to protect yourself and others
But what can we do about guilt once it's there? After all, they can't be turned off so easily. Above all, Max recommends one thing: "Act rationally." Because irrational feelings of guilt – triggered, for example, because one is afraid of being a carrier even though one was not even sick – "often has an emotional origin," he explains.
For example, you could create a list on which you write down what you have done to protect yourself and others: "It helps and calms you down when you realize that you have done a lot yourself to avoid infection or transmission to avoid the virus. "
We are not alone
Max also points out that everyone's guilt severity can be different. So we should take care of ourselves: how quickly do we feel guilty? Are we rather "hardened" or is a small breach of rules enough to make us worry? If we are often quick to blame ourselves for something, this would be a sign that we may sometimes be too strict with ourselves – this is also the case with disease transmission. In general, we should always keep in mind that an infection was not an intended act on our part.
And: "Remember that you are not alone." There are countless testimonials from people who have passed the virus on despite taking all precautionary measures. The situation we are in is new to all of us. The risks of transmission routes have not yet been fully researched, and the long-term consequences of illness or the effects of the pandemic on us humans are uncertain. We all learn something new every day – and that doesn't work without mistakes.
What if other people put the blame on us?
What if someone wants to "attach" the blame for the illness of a third person to us? Here, too, Max knows how to help: Often the "transferring person" cannot be clearly identified. There are too many unreported cases for that. But if there was a high probability that we were the carrier, "it depends on how 'thick' your own skin is," says Max.
Make it clear that the transfer took place through an unfortunate accident that no one intended.
If we have already developed strong feelings of guilt on our own, we should not aim for a discussion. "However, if you have made your inner peace with the situation, then that can also be expressed in a confrontation." Always important: Make it clear that the transmission was not intentional.
For Max it is important to emphasize at the end that – depending on how heavily we feel guilty and how long they last – psychotherapeutic treatment can help. We can also find help in a psychological counseling center.