Romantic or Scary?
Female users reveal which big gestures are actually toxic
© Roman Samborskyi / Shutterstock
You are showered with gifts and flowers and that for no special reason – pure romance, right? Depends on! In a survey, women are now revealing supposedly loving gestures as toxic behaviors.
It’s love at first sight, they come together. They couldn’t be happier, but then he does something stupid, hurts them. The relationship is broken. A big romantic gesture is needed, and indeed: He can win back your heart and you lived happily ever after – the classic structure of every run-of-the-mill love story. But reality looks different.
In real life, gifts, public declarations of love or the like do not work miracles. On the contrary: Often the person who undertakes such an act wants to prove something to himself above all else. On the US portal Buzzfeed users have now exchanged large romantic gestures that are actually extremely toxic. You can read the eight most informative articles here.
Romance? Are you kidding me? Are you serious when you say that!
1. Don’t accept ‘No’ in response to a date invitation
“The ‘I don’t take no for an answer’ scam. Um, then you’re not ‘devoted’ or ‘loyal’. You’re a creep who knows no boundaries and that person is not interested in you.”
2. Surprise visit
“Showing up at work or home unannounced to apologize or make a declaration of love. It’s just clingy, possessive, and so uncomfortable for anyone who happens to be there. Only make the surprise visit if your partner has specifically said that he wants that. “
3. You should sacrifice all your time
“I had an ex who always asked me to stay with him, hang out with him. My friends always said it was ‘so cute’. One day he invited me over just to have a drink with his boyfriend to go after I got there. I asked him why he invited me when he had plans and he said, ‘Because then I know that you are waiting here for me.’ That’s when I realized he wasn’t cute was because he wanted to see me but that he was toxic by making sure he knew where I was at all times. “
4. Marriage proposal in front of a large crowd
“If I am ever proposed in a public place, I will say no. No matter how much I love the person, if they want to marry me, they should know that this is not my cup of tea.”
Another voice: “I just feel like the person is then forced to either say yes so as not to embarrass someone or say no and look like an ass. It should be a private matter . “
Video Tip: 5 Warning Signs Your Partner Is A Narcissist
5. Savior in need
“These ‘women are weak or helpless and in need of a knight in shining armor’ portrayal. Yes, I may look like an idiot trying to do something. My manner may not always be the most effective or elegant way to do something But I don’t always need a big, strong man to stand in and save me. Let me be independent, damn it! “
6. Presents after a heated argument
“That feels manipulative. As if you could cover up your mistake with superficial things and everything would be forgiven. Keep your flowers and chocolates!”
7. Extreme affection in public
“When one partner, usually the man in a heterosexual relationship, but it can also occur with other relationship dynamics or genders, touches his partner excessively. […] I’m not talking about a kiss here, but rather extensive smooching or constant groping in inappropriate situations such as being around friends or in public. I know a lot of women who have been taught that this is ‘sexy’. No, it’s possessive and nine times out of ten it’s toxic. The only excuse is that you’re a hormone-driven, clueless teenager, but if adult humans are still doing this, that’s a big red flag! “
8. Make important decisions by yourself
“When a partner makes a big purchase (especially a house) or makes a big decision and presents it as a surprise without discussing it with the partner beforehand.”
Source used: buzzfeed.com