psychology
Why other people are smarter than you
© antoniosantosc / Adobe Stock
Other people usually come up with much more original answers than you? Don’t worry, there’s a very simple reason.
Repartee is a quality that we most often admire in other people. While others keep surprising us with funny, intelligent answers and reactions that don’t seem to take ten seconds to think about, eleven out of nine times we’re at a loss for words at the crucial moment. In two of these cases, they come to mind a week later – but on closer inspection they are not nearly as funny and intelligent as those of really quick-witted people. Well, life is unfair. Although there may be a simple explanation for why we so often disappoint ourselves with our lack of quick-wittedness: We find it disproportionately harder to surprise ourselves with our answers than it does for other people.
Repartee: The quality of others
Generally speaking, quick-wittedness is the ability to respond to a remark – which can usually be interpreted as an attack – as spontaneously as possible, funny, original and calm. So far so good. We usually find something funny when it is out of the ordinary, unexpected for us, surprising us. At least that’s the essence of a punch line. In order for us to consider something as original, it has to be as new, unusual and unique as possible for us. And people come across as calm when they don’t show strong emotions.
Do you notice anything? Probably. Nevertheless, once again in all clarity: just from our understanding of what quick-wittedness actually is, it follows that other people find it much easier to appear quick-witted to us than we do. After all, we know our thoughts and our way of thinking – that we surprise ourselves with a sudden idea is therefore, unsurprisingly, the exception rather than the rule. Our ideas will rarely appear new, unusual and unique to us, but all the more often obvious and self-evident. And as far as not being excited: We can hardly ignore our feelings and our faster beating heart, but other people may not notice it just as little as we do their somewhat agitated state of mind.
Repartee: Better to try than to give up
Of course, that doesn’t mean that in truth everyone is incredibly quick-witted without even having the slightest idea. After all, our ability to counter swiftly and wittily depends on, among other things, our creativity, our confidence, our current condition and well-being, our upbringing and practice. However, most people can probably assume that they are a lot quicker witted than they realize. And that they could surprise other people with their quick wits much more often if they trusted their intuition and their spontaneous inspirations more. In any case, making high demands on yourself and expecting the most ingenious answers does not help much to become quick-witted.
Most people should consider their own thoughts to be obvious and not very original. But that doesn’t stop everyone from saying it. If it were, we wouldn’t know today what quick-wittedness is.