Emilia is a star child. She was stillborn in the 18th week of pregnancy. Incredibly sad for her parents. A little comfort in pain: her daughter's photos.
Two healthy children
"I have three children. Two sons, who are six years and 18 months old, and my daughter Emilia, who was born a star child in February 2016. The first two pregnancies were difficult. My big son opened up in the 26th week of pregnancy I was in the hospital for nine weeks, given labor contractions and medication that promoted the child's lung maturity. At some point I was able to go home. My son was finally born after 38 + 5 weeks of pregnancy and was perfectly healthy. In the second pregnancy everything was fine until the 23rd week of pregnancy, when I suddenly had severe abdominal pain, which turned out to be a labor contraction. The cervix was already open, I had to stay in the hospital and received a lot of medication again. My son then became 25th week of pregnancy born by Caesarean section, weighing 740 grams. He was in the hospital for weeks, had to be be breathed. Today he is 18 months old and is developing well. My husband and I have long considered whether we should try again to get pregnant. The risk of premature birth was very high. But then we decided to do it. Fortunately, our second son is healthy and normally developed today.
At first there were no complications, but that quickly changed
I quickly got pregnant again. The pregnancy was initially normal, but the doctors advised me to have a cerclage to prevent premature birth. The cervix is closed by surgery. I decided to have the procedure done. I was in the 16th week of pregnancy. It was a routine procedure that only lasted half an hour. I already knew I was going to have a girl this time and was really looking forward to her. The operation went well and the doctors were satisfied. In the evening I had a stomachache and could not urinate. The next day I had blood in my urine. The doctors initially said that this was normal and did not investigate me further, although I kept asking about it. It went like this for two days. When a doctor finally examined me, it was the catastrophe. The doctors found a tear in the amniotic sac. I also had an infection that was about to go up to my baby. They gave us little hope. My husband and I cried and cried. We just couldn't believe it.
Hopeful
I was then in the hospital, unable to get up, and given strong medication. The doctors try to keep my child in my stomach at least until the 24th week. Only then would there be a chance of survival. I was hopeful. My daughter would do it. But then everything turned out differently. After two weeks, the inflammation in my body was so bad that it was life-threatening. The doctors wanted to initiate the birth of my daughter, who she would not survive to save my life. But I didn't want that. I wanted to keep fighting for my daughter. The doctors advised me against it. They said I have two healthy children who need me and a husband. I can't risk my life. I had wished for a caesarean section. But that was not possible in the 18th week of pregnancy because it would have damaged my uterus too much. I was terrified.
Silent birth
The birth of my daughter was then initiated with tablets. After a few hours, I started to go into labor. My husband and a great midwife were with me. My daughter's head was born at half past nine. Her abdomen and legs were still inside me. There was a long break in labor, during which I had the opportunity to grope for my child. That was really nice. At 10.06 p.m. she was born completely with the intact amniotic sac. A magical moment. Everything seemed to stand still. She was still alive and even moved when the midwife nudged her shoulder carefully. It was still connected to me via the umbilical cord, was taken care of by me. I was able to decide when to open the amniotic sac. I took my time again, about half an hour. Then the midwife tore the amniotic sac, severed the umbilical cord and put my daughter on my chest. My little Emilia. When she lay with me she was already dead. She looked like her dad. We kept her with us all night. When we finally fell asleep, she was between us. A friend had sewed a small sleeping bag for her and we put it in. I got a room on the ward in the morning and was allowed to keep my baby with me for a total of three days. My husband was with me too. Many pregnant women were walking around in the delivery room. That was too much for me.
Photos as a souvenir
The day after the birth, Mascha, a photographer from “Your Star Child” came to take pictures of Emilia. "Your Star Child" takes photos or videos of star children for free to give parents a souvenir of the deceased children. A friend had made me aware of this and made contact for me. The order was then posted online and Mascha took it by accident. I’m very lucky. Mascha was a big support for me even before I was born in the hospital. Every day she texted me how I'm doing. Worried about my daughter's life with me. When I called her and said that Emilia was born, she came immediately. She took beautiful photos of my daughter and the three of us, of weighing and measuring the little ones and of their tiny hands and feet. The pictures are worth an infinite amount to me. I look at them every day, I also loaded them onto my cell phone. I also showed the pictures to my big son, who is now 6 years old. He wanted to see her. From his brother, he already knew that mom came home, but the baby was still too small for it. I explained to him that the heart of Emilia was unfortunately too weak and much smaller than that of his brother. Then he understood that. Emilia is now buried in a cemetery in Hamburg and we visit her regularly. I am very happy that I have the photos and this place as a souvenir of them. ”
More about "Your Star Child"
Over 400 photographers are traveling all over Germany to give parents a souvenir of their deceased children with their photos. On Parents Online, three star child photographers tell of their work and experiences. You can find your star child on the homepage deinsternenkind.eu and up Facebook.
This article originally appeared on Eltern.de.