Fear is generally good, because it protects us from dangers – for example, from falling down somewhere or being hit by a car (practically, most cars sound more threatening the harder the driver steps on the gas …). However, fear can also paralyze and negatively affect us, especially if it is rather vague and focuses on something abstract like the future, changes or uncertainty. In such situations, however, we typically need courage and optimism most urgently – how annoying!
Now it is said that we cannot control our emotions, but that is only partially true: Because our emotions depend on our perception and we can question and change them with the help of our thoughts (you can find more on this in our article "Understanding Emotions"). How? If you are afraid, the following memos on yourself can help …
7 thoughts that take away your fear and give you courage
1. "I'm not alone."
No matter what situation you are in, you don't have to go through it alone! You probably have friends or relatives who give you back or are for you, and even if not: Then there are still social facilities and support services such as doctors, therapists, women's shelters, employment agencies, etc. This is the nice one Side of our system: In the worst case, it offers a network that catches us.
2. "It is perfectly normal to be afraid."
As I said, fear basically has a meaning. So you don't have to struggle with it if you feel fear. A defensive attitude usually increases our fear, while an accepting, affirmative attitude automatically creates a feeling of calm and serenity – and this is the first step towards optimism. ?
3. "So far, I've always managed everything somehow."
The crazy thing is: we all grow soooooooooooooooooooooo of our challenges and somehow suddenly mutate into heroines when it matters! Just think about being a mom: Raising such a defenseless, small creature and getting along with a minimum of sleep for years is unimaginable for many in advance and very scary. But the vast majority of mums still make it when the worm is there, and often even with flying colors. Perhaps you are not a mom and think you have always had an easy life, but take a closer look: You are guaranteed to have mastered a few personal crises – and you kind of rock them.
4. "The main thing is that I am / have …"
If something scares you, remember with all your might what can give you courage: that you are healthy, loved, given support, are alive … Remember: as difficult as it is sometimes, life is one Gift. And we don't have to do or achieve anything more than accept it.
5. "Nothing bad can happen"
Sure, the worst catastrophes can happen in our heads. But how bad – from an objective point of view – can something be even if a good 7 billion people on earth don't notice the slightest thing? Even if our little world gets skewed or completely out of joint, the big world keeps turning as if everything was fine. So … maybe that's it somehow? At least from a different perspective ?!
6. "It only looks so easy with the others"
Isn't it always terrible and even more scary when you are totally insecure yourself and everyone else apparently knows exactly where to go? If you feel that way, we have good news: Nobody has a plan! Every now and then everyone is unsettled or "just somehow" continues without knowing exactly how and why. Most people are professionals in hiding their fears and insecurities. Probably nobody will look at you if you are afraid, except for people who know you very well.
7. "In a year I won't even think about it anymore"
Honestly: With most fears, a short trip into the near future would suffice so that we could let go of it immediately and relax. "Will I ever find a job again?" – three months later you have one; "How long can I stay in this condition?" – half a year later the world looks pink again. We never know in advance how long a crisis will last and how we can get out of it, and that is often what scares us the most. But if we could only take a look into the future and see how well our Future-Me is doing, our biggest problem would be solved in one fell swoop. So we either have to build a time machine or learn to trust that everything will be fine. The latter works best if we keep telling ourselves and encouraging ourselves – and for a time machine you need a Phillips wrench, two gears and a horn … ?